Answer
Short Answer: No, not always. Compatibility and chemistry are also extremely important. A key thing is to remember that not everyone has the same (or even a correct) view of what “religiosity” and “good character” means. “We prioritize religion and good character with a sound understanding of what it means to be religious, and with a sound understanding of what it means to have good character.”
Asalamu Alaikum,
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Shaykh Faraz Rabbani from SeekersHub addresses this question in the video below:
Transcript:
Sh. Faraz Rabbani: So, is marrying the most religious woman always the best choice?
No, because the most religious— the first thing depends on what you mean by religion, because people’s notions of religiosity are often skewed.
And it’s clear from the Prophet’s (SAWS) teachings that religiosity is not just having a lot of religious matters in one’s life, but the heart of religion is that you truly care about Allah and His Messenger.
And you care–truly care–about Allah (SWT) and His creation. The right religion is to truly care.
Religion is true concern for Allah, for His book, for His Messenger, and for all people, right? So, that’s one aspect.
The second aspect is related to that the Prophet (SAWS) made it incumbent that you should marry someone of religion and good character, and people’s notions of good character tend to be skewed and stunted.
But, you might not be ready for S.P.A.M.– super perfect, awesome Muslim.
You might not be ready for that, because you may be far short of that. Or it may just be a dream or an illusion, right?
So, that’s why the Prophet (SAWS) said that if there comes to you someone whose religion and character is pleasing to you.
There is also the notion of compatibility because people are human beings. They have temperaments: they have capacities, right? So, you may not be able to handle that.
So, we cannot make an absolute statement that… –there’s the aspect that they being pleasing too.
But, yes, we prioritize religion and good character with a sound understanding of what it means to be religious, and with a sound understanding of what it means to have good character.
But that subtle aspect of them being pleasing to you is important too.
So, it’s not a mechanical thing that and… judging religion is not a simple thing.
There’s no equation like A + B – C = deen.
So, okay, brother Zubair has come A + B – C. He gets a 67. No, I need a 75 or more.
That’s not how it works.
So, you know, and it’s clear also from the sunnah that you cannot complicated it.
The Sahabah didn’t engage in very complicated analytics when it came to marriage choices.
I hope this helps answer your question. You can also check out more from SeekersHub at the link here.
Walaikum Asalam. Please keep in touch.
(From AboutIslam’s archives)
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https://aboutislam.net/reading-islam/living-islam/your-spouse-and-faith-help-or-hindrance/