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Where Is Allah’s Justice for Women? Part 2

01 March, 2017
Q As-salamu `alaykum, Is Islam unfair to married women? Muslims believe that one of the attributes of Allah the Almighty is that He is just to His creation. One aspect of His justice is the high status he has bestowed upon mothers. The mother is favored 3 times above the father for her immense self-sacrifice and love for her children. In comparison, the status of the woman as a wife seems much lower, despite the many rights and privileges she enjoys (inheritance, earnings, divorce … etc). Islam acknowledges that women have been created differently. They are physically weaker, and emotional in their responses. Men, on the other hand, are reasoned and more rational. Bearing in mind their totally different psychological makeup, why does Islam then judge them so harshly? As a wife, as a woman is expected to be totally serene at all times. She must bear the stresses and strains of looking after children and relatives, and also help her husband in his work if necessary. No matter if she is exhausted, depressed, or bored by any of this. She is not allowed to have a day off. She is not allowed to become irritated by any unreasonable demand of her husband. If she shows any displeasure towards him, the Qur'an advises him to rebuke, isolate, and as a last resort, beat her, though be it very lightly. Furthermore, her Prayers are not accepted if her husband is angry with her. This is surely a carte blanche for him to be as unreasonable as he likes. Burdened by the demands of caring for little children, there must be many times a woman is too tired for sex with her husband, but if she refuses in these circumstances, she is cursed by the Hoor in Heaven. The married woman is also expected to show utmost gratitude to her husband at all times. Islam tells us that the majority of women go to Hell due to their ingratitude to their husbands. Married women are advised to give lots of charity to avoid this. Since the ideal Muslim woman does not go out to work, how can she give lots of charity when she has no income of her own? Is she to ask her husband for money to give charity because she is not grateful enough to him? He would surely become angry with her! And then her Prayers would not be accepted! Throughout history men in all walks of life have oppressed women. However, in Islam this oppression of women is seen as far less sinful than women's ingratitude (however small) to their husbands. Furthermore, since most married women are also mothers, it follows that most mothers, despite their self-sacrifice, love, care, and the agony they experience in childbirth, will be in Hell. Why does Islam presume that all husbands are beyond reproach and that their wives must be punished? If they have been created differently, then surely Islam should make allowances for their emotional and hormonally driven natures. Can you explain how Islam's harsh expectations of married women equates with the absolute justice of Allah?

Answer

About Islam Counselor
01 March, 2017

Salam Sister Khadeejah,

Thank you for your question.

Please find the second and final part of the answer to your question below. Find the first part at the link here.

You have acknowledged that the status of woman as mother is great in Islam, but at the same time you said that Islam allows for the oppression of woman as wife: “If she shows any displeasure towards him, the Quran advises him to rebuke, isolate, and, as a last resort, beat her, though be it very lightly.

Furthermore, her Prayers are not accepted if her husband is angry with her. This is surely a carte blanche for him to be as unreasonable as he likes.“

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First, the Quran does not give men a carte blanche to be as unreasonable as they like in their dealings with their wives. Allah in the Quran has repeatedly made it clear that no soul shall have a burden laid on it greater than it can bear.

So, no woman shall be treated unfairly on account of her position as wife. And the Quran urges husbands to be kind and considerate to their wives:

{O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should you treat them with harshness that you may take away part of the marital gift you have given them except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary, live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If you take a dislike to them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good} (An-Nisaa’ 4:19)

Note the command: “Nor should you treat them with harshness … live with them on a footing of kindness and equity.”

Prophet Muhammad (peace be on him) also said:

“Fear Allah concerning women! Verily you have taken them on the security of Allah, and intercourse with them has been made lawful unto you by words of Allah. […] Their rights upon you are that you should provide them with food and clothing in a fitting manner.” (Muslim)

The reasons for the detailed procedure of divorce in Islam will be evident to anyone who has understood the great emphasis Islam places on the family system.

Islam takes all the necessary steps to keep the family from breaking down.

There is the Quranic method of solving marital disputes: they are to be handled privately between the parties as far as possible, and if disputes are not resolved thus, then representatives of the two families are to mediate and try their best for an amicable settlement.

Divorce is permitted only as the last resort. The Quran does not allow or condone family violence or physical cruelty. Read more about the verse about separation from the wife here and here.

You also claim that “the ideal Muslim woman does not go out to work”. Muslim women are allowed to go out to work. And there are many examples of great women around the Prophet (PBUH) who did in fact work, own businesses, etc. 

Now consider the Prophetic saying you quoted. I quote just one out of a number of narrations of the same saying:

O women, you should give charity and ask for much forgiveness for I saw you in majority among the dwellers of Hell.” A lady among them said, “Why is it, Messenger of Allah, that our gender is in majority in Hell?” Upon this the Prophet observed, “You curse too much and are ungrateful to your spouses. I have seen none lacking in common sense and failing in religion but (at the same time) robbing the wisdom of the wise, besides you.” Upon this the woman remarked, “What is wrong with our common sense and with religion?” He observed, “Your lack of common sense (can be well judged from the fact) that the evidence of two women is equal to that of one man, that is a proof of the lack of common sense, and you spend some nights (and days) in which you do not offer Prayer and in the month of Ramadan (during the days) you do not observe fast, that is a failing in religion. (Muslim)

The first point to note is that many scholars agree that the Prophet was merely using humor that is lost in translation and through culture to urge the ladies to donate more.

Similarly, no one can say that the ladies are to blame for their monthly period. Allah created women that way, and again it is Allah Almighty Who has given them the concession about praying and fasting. How can we say that accepting this God-given concession is “a failing in religion”?

The point I wish to stress here is that it is a mistake to take the words of our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) as a harsh criticism of women’s natural dispositions. He probably uttered those words about the failing on the part of women jokingly, in order to urge them to do more good for the sake of Allah Almighty.

I hope this answers your question. Please keep in touch.

Please continue feeding your curiosity, and find more info in the following links:

Marriage Leads Women to Islam

The Story of Women in Islam

1400 Years Ago, Islam Offered the Perfect Social System for Women