Answer
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
In this fatwa:
1- Having sexual intercourse with one’s wife before the wedding ceremony is not prohibited but it goes against custom, and if one did it one should shoulder all the marital responsibilities.
2- However, spouses are generally advised to keep patient considering the parents’ concerns until the wedding ceremony is publicly announced and then they can consummate the marriage.
In his response to the question, the prominent Muslim scholar, Sheikh Muhammad Iqbal Nadvi, Imam of Calgary Mosque, Alberta, Canada, and Former Professor at King Saud University, Riyad, Saudi Arabia, states:
This is a common problem in many Muslim countries due to their lack of Islamic knowledge. First of all, the question is wrong, because your wife cannot be called fiancée after concluding the contract of marriage; she is your wife according to the Shari`ah and you are entitled to all rights of the husband.
However, some people have misunderstood this fact and based their rulings on urf.
It is clear that when people do the marriage ceremony, they don’t do another contract, so they base it according to a prior nikah.
So, my opinion regarding this issue is as follows:
1- It is the right of the husband and wife in this period (after concluding the marriage contract) to be alone with each other.
2- There is no harm in following this custom, as it does not contradict a basic ruling of the Shari`ah, but while following it people should not argue about contravening it.
3- If someone holds sexual intercourse in this period, it is not considered a sin, but he has to admit he has consummated his marriage in order to secure the rights of his wife.
Moreover, Dr. `Abdul-Fattah `Ashoor, Professor of the Exegesis of the Qur’an at Al-Azhar University, states:
According to the `urf (custom) in a religious society, one who concludes his marriage contract should not embark on making love to his wife until he consummates the marriage and publicly announces it.
It is definitely a reprehensible act to do what contravenes this social norm. Religion, in fact, comes in harmony with custom as long as the latter is not at loggerheads with the established rules of Shari`ah.
Dear brother, we advise you to be patient until the wedding ceremony is publicly announced.
However, viewing this case froma a Shari`ah perspective, we have to stress that if one, after concluding a marriage contract, and before making it public through wedding ceremony, makes love to his wife, he is not sinful according to the Shari`ah.
Yet, in this case, he will be obliged to shoulder all the marital responsibilities incurred by such practice.
Having stated the above, we would like to state that some parents are afraid of some situations which may cause embarrassment. For example, if during this period a certain problem arises and causes the break up of the marriage, then their daughter may no longer be a virgin, or she may become pregnant while the marriage is not yet consummated.
Almighty Allah knows best.
Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.