Answer
Peace be upon you sister,
Thank you so much for bringing up this important question.
We know from our Messenger (peace and blessings upon him-PBUH) that sincerity and giving advice sincerely is part and parcel of our religion.
The Prophet (PBUH) said:
‘The deen (religion) is naseehah (advice, sincerity).’ We said, ‘To whom?’ He (PBUH) said, ‘To Allah, His Book, His Messenger, and to the leaders of the Muslims and their common folk.’ (Muslim)
And Allah Almighty says:
{You are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind. You enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and believe in Allah [….]} (Qur’an 3:110)
However, there are etiquettes when doing so, and Allah Almighty says:
{Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in a way that is best. Indeed, your Lord is most knowing of who has strayed from His way, and He is most knowing of who is [rightly] guided.} (Qur’an 16: 125)
Sometimes, we do not follow the best conduct when giving advice, which pushes people away instead of bringing them closer to the deen.
Allah knows how much people struggle to take a step toward Him. So when they do, He accepts it from them and He gifts them with peace and satisfaction and happiness that encourage them to take further steps.
That’s why The Prophet (PBUH) said:
Allah says: ‘ When a slave of Mine draws near to Me a span, I draw near to him a cubit; and if he draws near to Me a cubit, I draw near to him a fathom. And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.” (Al-Bukhari)
On the other hand, people are sometimes oblivious to how hard someone might try to take step, so they do something dangerous: they belittle this step or look at it as not good enough.
Accordingly, the person who has taken a step feels it is too little and not good enough. So, he/she belittles and feels bad about what they’ve done.
In this way, those who have done the belittling were in fact aiding the Shaitan against their own brothers and sisters. This is because Shaitan will continue to make those who take a step toward Allah feel sad and as if they are not good enough.
Allah appreciates the journey and people just want the end result.
My advice is to always encourage and support even the smallest steps, and mean it. This is because it means something to Allah. We definitely have to give advice but with wisdom, at the right time, and while encouraging and supporting what has been done already so people feel motivated, proud, and eager to do more, instead of feeling humiliated and defensive.
It is easy to gain knowledge. But it’s not easy to use it wisely. This needs purification, insight, sincerity, deep connection with Allah, and sincere concern for others.
I have written a detailed article on the issue of giving advice, judging others, and being judged. Please read here for more benefit insha’Allah.
I hope this helps answer your question. Please keep in touch. Salam.
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