Answer
As salamu `alaykum my dear son,
For those that open their hearts to Him, He makes the way easy, and surely He has made it easy for you. It is beautiful to see children find their way to Him, as this reminds us of His presence in our lives when as adults we might take much for granted and forget Him.
Allah (SWT) is All-Merciful, and in your innocence, He accepts your prayers from the heart. You are doing very best with what you understand, and as long as you do not lose faith, you will become more confident with your prayers, and you will be open to learning more about your Islam as long as you are patient with yourself.
Your father left you a very important part of himself, as a gift from Allah (SWT), and may this be with you for all your days, insha-Allah (God Willing).
You live in a country where you do not get to hear the adhan (the call to prayer), which serves to set the times of prayer for Muslims. This can seem to be very difficult, and can make one feel much doubt about when one prays. One very helpful tool is a prayers almanac. The Islamic Finder for the country in which you live can help you to know when to pray. Plus if you join their mailing list for prayer times, they will send to you an update monthly.
The more you use the reminder, the more it will become a habit, and after a while, you will know when to pray – it is a bit like a form of training. Of course, the best time to pray is to pray on time, and after a while, you will be able to make this and become a part of your daily schedule with your other activities. However, we do have from prayer time to prayer time to pray. What I mean by this is, is that if you find that you are in a situation whereby you can not pray on time, let us say for example it is afternoon (dhur) prayers now, you will have up until evening prayers (`asr) to do your dhur prayers – this is how considerate Allah (SWT) is in helping us to become better people who do not live only for ourselves, insha-Allah.
As for your praying in English, you are doing the best you can right now, and your prayers are sure to be accepted because you have the right intention, insha-Allah. However, if you look at Islamic Finder again, you will see that there are links to the main mosques and Muslim organizations. At least one of these places will provide a beginners course in Arabic/Islam, which can help you learn to pray in Arabic with understanding, insha-Allah.
You know it might be a good way to get your mother to take you, and to explore these places for a suitable and convenient course. By asking your mother to help you in this way, might help your mother to recover from the loss of your dad, and might help her to find some Islamic activity that will help redirect, and develop her way of thinking along more Islamic lines, away from the unfortunate habit of watching porn. In this indirect way, you would be helping your mother, without making things difficult between you and her, insha-Allah.
Thank you for thinking of us, and I pray that you will find all the answers to your questions without too much difficulty. You know, sometimes, we want to know the answer to a particular question, and we do not always get the answer we are looking for. Sometimes this is Allah’s (SWT) way of saying we are not ready for the answer yet, and sometimes, He is just testing us to see how sincere we are at looking for the Truth.
May Allah (SWT) guide you always, insha-Allah, and remember there are all types of people in this world, and each person has their own struggles, and each person can teach us something, even about ourselves.\
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