Answer
Answer:
As-Salamu ‘Alaikum,
This kind of behaviour of parents towards their children, regardless of their age, is not acceptable. There is no room for this kind of behaviour in Islam. What makes this particular situation increasingly difficult is that they behave kindly towards her in front of others, but behind closed doors treat her appallingly. However, like you say, as your parents, it is important to have respect for them as Allah (swt) commands us to. This can be made very difficult when the parents behave in such a bad way.
The current situation will determine the route that you might take in this case. Assumingly, once you get married, you will be moving in together and she will be absent from the home in which she is being abused. However, if this is the case, she will still be under their roof until then and facing an unsafe situation. It sounds like her home environment is very unsafe and I could not recommend remaining in such an environment where there is a risk to her life. I would, therefore, suggest that she finds somewhere safe to stay in order that she is not abused anymore. Maybe she has a close family member or friends that she could stay with temporarily until you two are married and can live together. This might also give her parents time to appreciate their daughter as well as giving your wife-to-be some space to be free from the abuse and recover from the stress.
This might make for difficult relations with her parents, but they also need to know that their behaviour towards her is not ok. People often take their stresses out on those who are closest to them, especially in a case like this where the love for the other is unconditional. They feel they can continue to behave in such an abusive way knowing that they will never leave. This, however, does not justify such behaviour and should not be accepted. Like you say, it is important to still respect them despite their behaviour, so maintain contact with them, but always in a way that maintains her safety from their potential abuse. At least once you are married you will be able to visit her parents together and she can still see them but in a way that her safety is assured.
Continue to pray to Allah (swt) to soften their hearts and, in sha’ Allah, He (swt) will hear your call and make them kinder to their daughter. For now, you can be the source of comfort in her life, so continue to provide her with this and support her in this difficult time. Obviously, until you are married, this might be quite difficult, but still possible with the presence of a mahram and also via friends, ensuring that she is supported by them as well. In time, in sha’ Allah, as they come to miss her after she leaves home, they will find respect for her as they miss her presence and will treat her better.
May Allah (swt) soften the hearts of her parents and bring you both happiness and contentment in your marriage in the future, in sha’ Allah.
Salam,
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