It is the only problem that is eating me up. I can't imagine a situation where my own wife will look less of me as a man and I've to live an entire life with fear, doubts and uncertainty. This is destroying my masculinity and preventing me from getting married.
I've been asking Allah for almost a decade to bless me with a bigger private part so I'll be content with myself and can love another person wholly. I do not see my answers getting prayed and I'm at the point of giving up. I think my life is doomed and Allah does not care or if he likes to see me suffer with this. Having said that, I'm still grateful for all the other good things in my life blessed with by Allah.
I'd appreciate someone to help me with your thoughts. Please do not send me the usual replies about comparing my life, Shariah and gratitude. I come from a humble family and I've been practicing gratitude and I feel bad for people who are at worse than me. But my problem is my biggest problem. I need solution which does not exist in this world. Please let me know if there's a solution in addressing this major problem that is affecting my confidence, self-esteem and masculinity.
Answer
Although there are medical conditions when your private part is smaller than average, many times these are fears based on some kind of misunderstanding, unrealistic expectation, or comparison.
Unfortunately, if you think too much about these fears, they can become an obsession and prevent you from getting married and realizing that there is nothing wrong with you or with your masculinity.
These intrusive thoughts can result in low self-esteem and excessive concern.
Seek a physician and talk to him about your concern.
He will provide reliable information about what is normal and whether you need to be worried or not.
Believe that Allah has created you this way. He also destined a wife for you who will love you as you are, in sha Allah.
Check out the full advice here.
More from Sr. Aisha:
- Struggling with Waswasa & Impurity; What to Do?
- I Don’t Like the Idea of Getting Married; What to Do?
- My Mom Doesn’t Love Me, Help!
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