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Raising Better Humans and Muslims: Parenting in Muslim Tradition

Age-appropriate positive discipline techniques

There are various age-appropriate discipline techniques, such as reward and sanctions, which are required to be applied during the various phases of children’s growth.

Children need autonomy and freedom, but as they grow older, creative discipline is vital for their success. Love and care should be immeasurably abundant in a child’s life.

Discipline has a spectrum and this generally starts with parents being a role model at one end and confronting negative behaviour with some discipline techniques on the other.

Children will naturally make mistakes. Parents should treat children as children, not young adults. It is vital that parents give consideration to a child’s age, mental maturity and temperament. 

Before employing any discipline technique, parents and adults should keep in mind the values, customs and culture of the time.

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Proper and timely communication with them is absolutely vital. Shouting and telling them off undermine their self-worth.

With increased importance on ‘positive parenting’ and gentleness at home as well as ‘assertive discipline’ in schools, children can sail through all three phases of development with a strong foundation of personal and social responsibility. 

Education is the key 

Education is the foundation for any community or nation to survive and succeed, especially in this competitive word. The knowledge and understanding of a people advance when reading habits are promoted.

Reading has been the key ingredient for civilisations to flourish. For centuries after the emergence of Islam, Muslims were pioneers in almost all areas of human knowledge until complacency and internal weaknesses put them behind Europe. 

Home and family should now be the springboard of a Muslim renewal in knowledge and revitalisation of intrinsic energy. Mothers and fathers must step up and make their home exemplars of a real-life school or madrasah and put the education and character building of their children at the top of their parental tasks.

A few simple questions can be used to benchmark parents in this endeavour: 

1. Is there a bookshelf at home?

2.  Do children also have their own bookshelves?

3.   Do they have enough books across a range of diverse topics?

4.   Do parents themselves read books? 

5.   Are children encouraged to read?

6.   Do children see their parents reading?

7.   Do parents read with children and how often?

8.   How do children react? 

9.   Do parents discuss books with them?

10.   How often does a parent visit the local library with their child?

11.   Can parents set up a book club in the area?

Conclusion

Believers are taught that Allah has made knowledge the foundation for the superiority of human beings over other creatures on Earth. The first word revealed to the Prophet Muhammad was ‘Iqra’, meaning ‘read’ or ‘recite’.

The Prophet said, “Seeking knowledge is obligatory for every Muslim” (Al-Tirmidhi). Knowledge thus goes hand in hand with the Islamic creed. 

The emphasis on knowledge is something parents should instil in their children through positive parenting. Muslims are asked to seek knowledge by reading, learning, observing, reflecting and acting so that they can genuinely become Allah’s stewards on earth (Al-Qur’an 2:30). Home is the primordial human institution to raise children of Adam to the height of this status. 

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