Nothing can come from nothing, everything has to come from something.
My story is so personal but it’s something I’ve been wanting to share with you for a long time.
I had the answer right in front of me like so many other people, I ignored it. So I was stubborn and I always thought I would have tomorrow.
I was born and raised in a Christian cult. After several years of manipulation and brainwashing, we found our way out.
I thought I would go on with my life having the moral compass I had from a young age, but also making up my own rules. However, I never lost hope in God.
A couple of years ago I prayed believing with every inch of my body that God would show me a way to get closer to Him. And He did. But I looked away. I was ignorant. It wasn’t before 2014 when I actually listened.
Islam was something foreign. I grew up to believe that Islam is a bad and hateful religion that suppresses women. I couldn’t understand when women would choose to wear a scarf around her head.
In that, every time my heart finds peace and its truth. I could find so many similarities from what I believed in and Islam. And even when my brain caught up in the realization that this is truth, that this is the right way.
I was Scared
I was so scared with what my family would say, my friends, everyone who knew me.
Time went by and my doubts started to fade away. I saw how much Muslims were peaceful human beings, worshiping one God. There are in fact 1.6 billion Muslims in the world. And the most practiced religion. These people were not forced or manipulated into believing anything. They simply found the truth.
I started little by little trying to cut off bad habits. And I wanted to know if I could make it because I didn’t want to fail if I decided to revert.
I stayed at across points, where I could either go left or right. And sometimes, I went a little bit to the left but ran back again because I felt uneasy with myself.
I came to a point when I needed a push but nobody around me pushed me. I had to push myself to what’s the last step.
On September 16th, I said my shahadah in a local cultural center. At that moment, I felt as if a burden that I have been carrying around for years was just lifted.
That night I cried so much… I actually cried for two days. But a friend of mine told me that it’s ok… I was reborn. And like a child I had to take baby steps.
That week, I tried to pray. I had tried many times before but didn’t work, but after I said my shahadah, it all just came really easy.
If you take one step towards Allah, He will run towards you. I felt so lucky that Allah guided me to Islam.
Tests and Hardship
I understand why things happened and why I went through hardship, to get where I’m right now.
The point is not to be perfect. You will fall and fail, but you will repent and you will get back up again. Allah chose you to be on this earth and to go through His tests so that you can enter Paradise.
When you find God, you know that He is always with you. You know that your words fade away because everything is pre-written for you and everything happens for a reason.
And you find peace. That’s the definition of the word Islam.