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I Converted to Islam That I Once Used to Hate

All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” (Attributed to Edmund Burke)

What is it for good men to do but discover Truth, lest that Truth be buried, suppressed, never acknowledged and forgotten, all to our peril?” (Dr. HermanSJr.)

Since childhood I have felt I was designed by the universe with the words of these two quotes embedded deep into my mind and spirit.

The words have rung loudly inside my head and heart. The ringing always pointed to one task, to discover truth via a personal journey.

This guided me to a childhood and adult life embedded with a deep scientific education and character that does not tolerate nonsense.

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One day I decided with no plan to begin my journey. A journey to wherever the force was directing me so to silence the calling which rang within me like the fatally tempting songs of the Sirens of Greek mythology. The enchanting and deadly beauties which called to the hearts of unsuspecting sailors, only to lure them to death.

Alhamdulillah this allure did not bring me to death but closer to truth via a decades-long journey which molded me into an autodidactic polymath who had the fortune of attending several universities and obtaining multiple degrees.

The journey forced me to research a trove of philosophies and religions. In doing so, I came to detest the institutionalization of religion, as well as the misinterpretations of religion which spawn the famous and sometimes comedic crackpots within religion. You know, those typically commented on by John Stewart of The Daily Show.

My then newly found detestation also and especially applied to Islam. However, even with this loathing of Islam, I noticed the religion continued to reappear into my life. This was quite baffling as I happily attacked and deeply hated Islam.

Perplexed, I decided to pay attention to this phenomenon and repeat my research of Islam. I ensured to do so with a pure and unbiased mindset by reminding myself of the statement I repeatedly said for years, that I seek truth regardless of where it leads.

Many times I stated that if I find that Christianity is the truth then I will become a Christian. This also applied to Buddhism, Judaism, Islam and everything else. I understood if I genuinely sought the truth then I must ensure to follow it wherever it was to lead and not merely where I hoped nor personally believed it would lead.

This resurfacing of Islam occurred in many facets of my life, including a continual attraction to the Arabic language, culture and music. It also included me continually coming across new Muslims and befriending them, both male and female. Many of those friends eventually informed me that I was already more Muslim than most Muslims due to many of my beliefs in life.

Originally I thought nothing much of those statements, but I did begin to notice that every time I left the arena of the Arab culture, and of Islam, I found myself pulled back into it in one or more facets of life.

So, as noted above, I continued my search for truth in Islam, in the Quran, via research founded in science, and free from any life altering emotion.

As a consulting expert in psychology, I knew the most reliable way for me to find any truth in Islam would be to study the Quran with an unbiased and emotionless demeanor. I ensured to do so while avoiding any dogma, whether that dogma was seemingly positive or negative.

I also ensured to refrain from any emotional bond that may come from studying Islam with its practitioners. This is because the creation of such emotional bonds are quite common when one studies any religion, if one is open to it, or does not protect against it.

I did everything to divorce myself of all possible emotion for Islam and cling only to the actual science within it, should any exist.

I ensured to stay solitaire and away from the groups of praying Muslims at the masjids, for the most part. Doing so kept me from being influenced by them and thus veering away from any science.

Although I did visit the masjid on only a few occasions, I was careful to keep myself divorced from any emotional entrapment. I can safely say that this technique succeeded.

To avoid possible attraction to Islam via psychological group dynamics enticing any desire for social belonging, whenever I sought clarification of anything regarding Islam I ensured to meet on a one on one basis with only highly educated Muslims. Those individuals had no knowledge of each other, nor of the questions asked.

I would often ask the same questions to each of them to determine if each answer given was of identical understanding, or truth. Meeting with more educated Muslims was required as the nature of my questions would most likely, in my experience of speaking to religious individuals, have been met with unscientific and typical religious answers by others.

Such answers are common from anyone of any religion who is a blind follower and not greatly educated in the sciences, nor even in the critiquing of their own religion.

After hearing the Muslims’ answers and researching the same, I admit I was quite surprised when I began to understand the core issues of my and most non-Muslim’s arguments against Islam. This includes the treatment of women and non-Muslims, men’s right to polygamy, and many others.

While the answers to those arguments are outside the scope of this work, I can say that they were all illuminating and logical as they separated the truth from the rumors.

I then understood that the issue with the arguments of non-Muslims against Muslims, such as those noted above, is they are based on questionable practices which typically are cultural. Many are indeed grossly misinterpreted from the Quran and are indeed evil.

I then saw the difference between such evil and true Islam, i.e. Islam which is defined in the Quran when it is correctly interpreted within the context of where it occurs in the Quran and within the era in which it was revealed, or written.

Those grounded in science and those genuine seekers of truth must always be open to the possibility that their truth is not the final truth, that there is a deeper, more profound truth that leads further.

Even for believers there is no fear behind this statement because they possess no fear of anything nor anyone that can surface and threaten the truth. As a matter of fact, true believers prepare to be tested by Allah on their belief.

The forewarning of such tests is announced to them in the Quran.

I pray I will be allowed to continue to discover this truth for myself, and even for my fellow Brothers and Sisters in Islam.


Credit: I would like to thank the Egyptian writer and founder of Amreeka Life, Mohamed Shedou for the tremendous assistance given to me in my spiritual journey. Without this assistance it would indeed have been a longer and more difficult journey to my conversion.