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Iftar Isolation

Asalamu Alaikum,

Thank you for trusting me with your question. You should be proud of yourself for keeping with your intention to go to the masjid as much as possible during Ramadan. May Allah reward you. And an excellent way to spend time in the masjid is to read Quran. MashaAllah. But you should not just do so at home because you feel isolated. This will only make that feeling worse. You need the masjid. You need good company. Islam is not to be practiced in isolation and that is why you are feeling lonely. You need friends who understand your way of life (your deen), who can encourage you, celebrate with you, and help you grow as a Muslim.

I am so sorry to hear that people at the masjid aren’t welcoming. Often people get comfortable in their cliques and resist changing their dynamic to invite a new person in. This is especially true of most masajid in the West since the majority of Muslims are immigrants and they feel comfortable with and are drawn to associate with others from their culture, who speaks their language, etc. I am not excusing their behavior because they should open up and invite you with the best manners. I am only explaining why this unfortunately happens. 

So, how to break into the cliques? Ask yourself, who at the masjids seems to be well-loved? Take note of what the most sought-after people are doing at the masjid.
They are usually the ones who bring food to break the fast. They are often the ones who serve the food or take out the trash. Sometimes, to feel like you are a part of a new community, you have to become integral by offering a helping hand.
You can be the person who passes out napkins, picks up empty plates, refills drinks, brings dessert, or washes the dishes. Doing so will help you learn who the people at the masjid are. It will make the people at the masjid feel affinity for you, want to get to know you, and miss you when you are not there. Being a helping hand is a great way to feel at home in the masjid. And best of all, you are getting tremendous reward from Allah for keeping the masjid clean and serving those who are breaking their fast.

I hope this helps answer your question. Please keep in touch. Salam.  

Thursday, Jan. 01, 1970 | 00:00 - 00:00 GMT

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