I have been carrying this problem with me for months. I actually see images of a person when someone mentions Allah and it is making me feel so bad because it feels like I am associating Him with a human being when I didn’t intend to imagine that person in the first place and now I feel afraid that I would think of that person when Allah’s name is mentioned. These days, i always prepare my brain not to produce image of that mention when I do dhikr. My brain makes me think that I have committed a huge sin(shirk) and I always have to fight it since I don’t know what to do anymore. What should I do?
Islam is based on tawhid or oneness of Allah, the essence of which is to worship Allah alone and refuse to associate any partners in worship with Him. The crucial nature of tawhid can be gauged from the fact that we are ordered to read fathihah, known as the Mother of the Book, in our daily prayers. And it contains the following, solemn declaration, “You do we worship; and from You do we seek help.” The Prophet, peace be upon him, accordingly advised his cousin, “If you ask, ask Allah; if you seek help, seek help from Allah.“
Islamic concept of tawhid is best expressed in Surath Al-Ikhlas and other verses of the Quran. You may do well to read and meditate on them to reinforce your faith in Tawhid.
There is no doubt shirk is an unforgivable sin; however, a person who has renounced shirk and affirmed the faith in the Oneness of Allah has left it behind and started a clean slate.
Therefore once you have repented and reaffirmed your faith in the Oneness of Allah, you can hope for the mercy of Allah: I would urge you to read the following verses:
“How shall Allah guide a people who disbelieved after their belief and (after) they bore witness that the messenger is true and after clear proofs (of Allah’s sovereignty) had come unto them. And Allah guideth not wrongdoing folk. As for such, their guerdon is that on them rests the curse of Allah and of angels and of men combined. They will abide therein. Their doom will not be lightened, neither will they be reprieved.”
Immediately afterwards, Allah says:
“Save those who afterward repent and do right. Lo! Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.
Lo! those who disbelieve after their (profession of) belief, and afterward grow violent in disbelief: their repentance will not be accepted. And such are those who are astray. Lo! those who disbelieve, and die in disbelief, the (whole) earth full of gold would not be accepted from such a one if it were offered as a ransom (for his soul). Theirs will be a painful doom and they will have no helpers.” (Qur’an: 3: 86-89)
On further details on repentance, please refer to the answer posted here:
Almighty Allah Knows best.
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