Women in Attractive Clothes: 4 Quick Tips to Handle

17 January, 2017
Q I am a 19-year-old Muslim living in Nigeria. For almost a year, sexual desires have resulted in a dirty slap on my face, because I have been exerting effort to erase them from my mind, but the mission always fails. Among the measures I took to overcome this is fasting as it is advisable for Muslims who cannot control themselves, but the outcome is always zero. The masjid in my neighborhood is at least 100 meters away from my house. On my way there, I come across more and more ladies dressing in the western style of dress which normally deceives me. My question it: how can I handle this?



Salam ‘Alaikum,

Thank you for writing to us. Growing up is not easy and we appreciate the fact that you are taking steps to keep yourself chaste! Here are some thoughts in response to your question.

#Advice 1

First, it is a part of the laws of Allah Most High that as human beings leave childhood and enter into adulthood, we experience certain physiological, emotional, physical, and intellectual changes. As a nineteen-year-old, it is very normal for you to experience sexual desires, but what is not normal and not acceptable is for you to fulfill those desires in any other manner other than a wholesome marital relationship. Therefore, you should continue to exert efforts to rid yourself of thoughts of a sexual nature and seek Allah’s (swt) assistance in protecting yourself from satanic deceptions. 

#Advice 2

Second, you have mentioned that you tried fasting and so on, but to no avail. We suggest that you also reflect upon your own life to see what other changes you can make. While it is possible for a person to have sexual thoughts without any external stimuli, you should reflect on your own life and see what other sources of external stimuli exist. What kind of television programs do you watch? How about the magazines you read? Do you surf the internet? Do you watch any movies? Be frank with yourself and eliminate any sources of indecent images. Be tough and make no exceptions.

#Advice 3

As for the women you might see on your way to the masjid and dress in western style clothing, lower your gaze and do not be distracted by them. Seek refuge in Allah (swt) from Satan as you go past them and keep your gaze lowered.

#Advice 4

Finally, make lots of du`aa’ (supplications) to Allah (swt) to protect you and to grant you a righteous and pious pre-marital life. In sha’ Allah, with enough effort on your part, with fasting and with persistent du`aa’ to Allah (swt), you will be able to bring your sexual desires under control.

May Allah (swt) make it easy for you. 


Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information that was provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, it’s volunteers, writers, scholars, counselors, or employees be held liable for any direct, indirect, exemplary, punitive, consequential or other damages whatsoever that may arise through your decision or action in the use of the services which our website provides. 


About Dr. Abdullah Abdur Rahman
Dr. Abdullah Abdur Rahman had obtained his Masters and PhD in Social Work and has worked in the US as a licensed social worker since then. His focus is on counseling Muslims in non-Muslim countries, with special emphasis on life in North America, counseling adolescents, pre-marital counseling, online counseling for married couples and da`wah (inviting people to Islam).