06 March, 2022
Q
Salam. I became a proper Muslim only 2 years ago. I first started praying the obligatory prayers with my mother, doing dhikr, and wearing the hijab and proper Islamic clothing. All this was making me happy until the waswas started.
When it started, I had no idea there was anything like satanic whispers or I didn’t care about them before, so I just listened because they were mild, but then they kept growing and got worse to a point that I felt nervous just praying alone without any congregation.
Then I fought some of it and became able to pray alone and within a normal timeframe. However, the waswas got into my wudu and when I would use the restroom, I felt like some drops of urine would come out after I’m done or I would fart a little bit. But after some time, I got out of that too.
Then I started feeling like I didn’t remove the discharge from my private area after urinating and this is what I’m dealing with now my wudu takes 10 minutes because I feel like the water didn’t reach all of the space (especially ears, which alone takes me 3-5 minutes). Because of all this, I don’t like praying or worshipping Allah, I just can’t feel Allah SWT in anything at all.
When I’m about to finish menstruating and start praying, I feel like I’m about to be caged up or be burdened with all this. I know it’s waswas and I should avoid it, but I just don’t know how to.
What if the water really didn’t reach all the places? What if there’s still some discharge that I need to remove and if I don’t, it’ll invalidate my wudu (this thought comes even after I washed the area for 15 minutes or more). How can I fix this and love worshipping Allah SWT again? Thanks for the answer.
When it started, I had no idea there was anything like satanic whispers or I didn’t care about them before, so I just listened because they were mild, but then they kept growing and got worse to a point that I felt nervous just praying alone without any congregation.
Then I fought some of it and became able to pray alone and within a normal timeframe. However, the waswas got into my wudu and when I would use the restroom, I felt like some drops of urine would come out after I’m done or I would fart a little bit. But after some time, I got out of that too.
Then I started feeling like I didn’t remove the discharge from my private area after urinating and this is what I’m dealing with now my wudu takes 10 minutes because I feel like the water didn’t reach all of the space (especially ears, which alone takes me 3-5 minutes). Because of all this, I don’t like praying or worshipping Allah, I just can’t feel Allah SWT in anything at all.
When I’m about to finish menstruating and start praying, I feel like I’m about to be caged up or be burdened with all this. I know it’s waswas and I should avoid it, but I just don’t know how to.
What if the water really didn’t reach all the places? What if there’s still some discharge that I need to remove and if I don’t, it’ll invalidate my wudu (this thought comes even after I washed the area for 15 minutes or more). How can I fix this and love worshipping Allah SWT again? Thanks for the answer.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
Please contact our Ask the Scholar section to get a proper answer about the nature of waswas.
Waswas is a type of disorder the psychology calls OCD: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.
When thoughts come, just breathe deeply.
Mindfulness techniques help a lot with anxieties.
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general. They are purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.