Having Sexual Thoughts Makes Me Feel Dirty

24 December, 2019
Q I am currently studying clinical psychology. I didn’t know that children are products through sex. I thought that it’s haram in Islam and that only non-Muslims do it. Just recently I learned in my subject that it’s also what Muslims do. I was quiet shocked.

I also learned that everyone has sexual desires and feelings. I also learned many things about sex and it’s diseased and what is happening around. I’m afraid of these sexual feelings and many times I am questioning myself whether I’m having sexual feelings and desires. I’m sacred that thinking about sexual feelings is inappropriate. I don’t think about sex... It’s just that it’s quite frustrating that every time I’m asking myself: Do I have sexual feelings? Is my mind dirty? Is it normal or not? Are these my hormones?

Tell me what I should do to behave the same as before when I didn’t know about these kinds of stuff? I have Googled it many times and believe me I think reading Google is making my mind dirtier. I’m not having any desires or thoughts. It’s just a question that always comes to my mind that whether I’m having thoughts or not.

My teacher gave me work to meditate and I don’t do it now because I think that I might start having sexual thoughts.

Regarding masturbation, I used to do it when I was about 12 or 13, but I didn’t know that it’s masturbation. Just a year ago, I sort of left it because doing it made me feel dirty and I wanted to cut off the hand with which I did it. So I stopped doing it. Alhamdulillah!

Answer

Salam Alaikum,

In this counseling video, you will learn:

Sex is enjoyable for women too.

• It is the highest intimacy between a husband and a wife, so we must learn about it.

• Having sexual thoughts and being a dirty person are two different things.

• It is normal to have sexual thoughts and desires. Until you are not married, control it: lower your gaze, do not indulge in activities that might lead you to commit zina.

• However, Allah created sex and sexual thoughts, so inshallah when you are married, enjoy it.

• Continue educating yourself further about sex.

Watch more:

About Megan Wyatt
Megan Wyatt is the founder of Wives of Jannah where she offers training programs, live workshops, and relationship coaching for wives and couples. She is a certified Strategic Intervention coach with specialized certifications for working with women and marital relationships and has been coaching and mentoring Muslims globally since 2008. She shares her passion for Islamic personal development in her Passionate Imperfectionist community. She is a wife and homeschooling mother with four children residing in Southern California.