It was a soup dumpling, I regretted it after, yet I ate it, and I feel upset about it.
I've read namaz and I've thought about it and I feel regret. I'm not sure what I can do next to get rid of this disgusting feeling I have with myself. I told myself I would never do it and I did.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
- Learning to say no, and staying true to your values even when others put pressure on you are important skills, and are commonly challenged during adolescence.
- One mistake does not define who you are. Let this experience help you grow rather than become a source of ongoing self-condemnation.
Assalamu alaikum, brother,
From what you have explained, a few days ago, you were offered pork while you were with your friends. Initially, you refused it, but they put it on your plate, and somehow, in the end, you chose to eat it. Since then, you have regretted your decision, felt guilty, and struggled with feelings of disgust. You are now wondering what you can do to overcome these feelings.
First of all, brother, I know that you are still young, in your teenage years. I am sure you are aware that consuming pork is prohibited in Islam, as mentioned in the Quran, except in some extreme cases.
At the same time, it seems to me that, at that moment, other needs may have taken precedence over your religious values. Perhaps you wanted to fit in with your friends, avoid an uncomfortable situation, or prevent them from making fun of you or bullying you. I do not know exactly what happened, but these feelings are understandable. Perhaps you were simply trying to protect yourself and judged your situation unwell.
Nevertheless, I hope you can see this experience as a valuable lesson. Insha’Allah, it will help you feel better prepared to face similar situations in the future.
We all make mistakes
You mentioned feeling guilty, and I want to remind you that Allah is the Most Forgiving and the Most Merciful. If you sincerely regret what happened, seek Allah’s forgiveness, and commit to make a different choice in the future, do not lose hope in His mercy. We all make mistakes, and what matters is how we learn and grow from them.
Try to forgive yourself for the choice you made at that moment. You can acknowledge that it was a decision you regret without continuing to punish yourself for it. You have already recognised that your actions did not align with your values, and that awareness can help you make different choices in the future.
It may also be helpful to reflect on what made it difficult for you to say no. Were you afraid of being judged, rejected, or ridiculed by your friends? Understanding what influenced your decision can help you prepare for similar situations. If you feel that you need to become more confident in saying no or standing up for your values, consider seeking support from someone you trust, someone knowledgeable about your faith, or someone who can help you develop these skills.
Learning to say no, and staying true to your values even when others put pressure on you are important skills, and are commonly challenged during adolescence. These challenges are not limited to religious matters; many teenagers struggle with peer pressure and the desire to fit in.
I understand that this situation feels particularly difficult because it concerns something important to your faith. However, please remember that one mistake does not define who you are. Let this experience help you grow rather than become a source of ongoing self-condemnation.
I hope this helps,
