At school, my schoolmates insult, laugh at, and take advantage of my condition.
The same happens at home. It makes me feel so depressed and slow in anything I do. I have so much hope but I cannot keep this pain any longer. I don't know what to do now.
Nothing encourages me. What should I do now?
Answer
In this counseling answer:
• Do not depend on anything for seeking motivation.
• If you find yourself struggling for motivation when you think about your health condition, think about those who are in harder situations than you are right now.
• Approach Allah first. Ask Allah SWT for strength to keep on going.
• Remember your strengths. Remember your skills. Remember the good deeds that you do or a goal that you are working towards.
Assalamu Alaikum dear sister,
Thank you for reaching out to us. I am sorry to hear of the troubles that you currently face.
Dear sister, let me tell you something. It may sound harsh, but this is the reality. Do not depend on anything for seeking motivation.
Motivation must be intrinsic. It should come from within. When you depend on outside sources for motivation, you will not succeed to the best of your abilities when the outside sources of motivation are no longer there. Trust me, they will not always be there.
You must be your own motivation.
Dear sister, the harder the rock, the more effort it will take to break it. Do not be a ball of soil that people can trample over and break and kick as they like.
Dear sister, this life is not going to be easy. You will face many obstacles, and issues, and failures and rejections. However, you will need to be stronger than your fears, than the insults you face, and the problems you encounter. Otherwise, they will crush you. They are meant to crush you. If you have ambitions, and goals, you must be relentless and resilient.
Evaluate your struggles and the struggles of the Prophet SAW and the people of his time.
Dear sister, if you find yourself struggling for motivation when you think about your health condition, think about those who are in harder situations than you are right now.
Dear sister, I personally feel that when Allah SWT puts us in hard and confusing situations, He SWT blesses us with the power of empathy. Such that when we see others struggling, we are able to understand how they feel and can relate and help them achieve their goals.
Dear sister, the people who insult us and are there for making our lives feel useless and not productive are not useful for us. They are a form of deviation from the right path for us. We need to learn to block them mentally by focusing what matters for us.
Dear sister, in the book Hayat-us-Sahabah by Maulana Muhammed Yusuf Kandhalvi, I read about the Tolerance of Hunger by Asma Bint Abu Bakr. It touched me to read that at the time during her pregnancy, she had been hungry for a few days and wanted to get some meat from her neighbors but felt ashamed to ask. She went in a few times pretending to ask for food so that they may offer her food.
However, after going three times and not being given what she wanted three times, she went home and cried to Allah. She did nothing more than sincerely crying out of hunger during her hard days. Allah SWT, the Ever Hearing, blessed her with meat a few minutes later.
Dear sister, whatever your problems, worries, do not think that Allah SWT will not hear. Do not approach everyone else first except Allah. Approach Allah first. Ask Allah SWT for strength to keep on going. Ask Him to give you the ability to overcome the negative insults that you hear from others outside or at home.
Occupy your mind with ambitions and goals.
Dear sister, when we are not occupied by a greater goal in life, such as educational goals, health goals, etc., it is easy for us to become unhappy and misguided in the face of adversity. Which is why Allah SWT constantly tells us to be always considering the final goal of doing good deeds to please Allah SWT in all endeavors.
Check out this counseling video:
I understand how hard it must be to be insulted by others for your hardships. However, trust me, if you work towards a specific goal in life, such as working towards an important degree, a special coursework, community work, etc., the insults in your life will feel useless and unreal.
Dear sister, everyone faces many struggles in all walks of life. They are bound to occur. Get rid of your pain. Make your mind believe there is nothing wrong with you. Tell yourself that you are exactly where Allah SWT wants you to be and you are doing everything you can to please Him.
Overpower satanic ideas and convert the spheres of your mind into divine realm by driving out the evil forces. Pray to Allah so that God may help and protect you in the dangers threatening to befall you in this battle. Do not have any expectations from anyone but God. With all humility and all the tears your eyes can offer, pray to God and seek His assistance to emerge victorious in this crucial battle against the self.
Dear sister, thoughts of depression, lack of motivation, and no desire to keep on going are from Satan. You need to overpower them. Remember your strengths. Remember your skills. Remember the good deeds that you do or a goal that you are working towards. Remember that nothing in this life is permanent. Work hard.
Dear sister, if you do not work hard when you have the time and the energy and the focus, you will regret it down the line. Do not let the distractions get better of you.
I suggest that you take a piece of paper and answer the following questions:
- What is motivation?
- What is your goal in life?
- What motivated you to make it your goal?
- Are insults hindering your ability to pursue your goals and dreams? Are they a physical barrier?
- Why are you not motivated?
- Does it make sense to let others’ insults or thoughts about you hinder your goal that you have made for yourself?
Dear sister, our abilities are only as strong as our thoughts. Keep your thoughts in perspective, and be positive and unstoppable.?
I pray that my answer will provide you with the motivation you were seeking.
Amen,
***
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.
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