I Get Scared of Literally Everything

26 August, 2020
Q As'salamAlaykumwa'rahmatullahiwa'barakatuhu I was bullied multiple times 4 years ago, but now I'm suffering from mental illness I think. I don't know why I get scared when anyone tries to harm me even a little bit.

I easily get scared from the little child, even if they beat me for a joke. It is happening for a long time.

I was addicted to pornography also, so maybe my brain got damaged because of that. Anyways, I just want to tell that I feel like a coward who can fear anyone easily.

Answer


In this counseling answer:

To understand your present problems which are manifesting in various forms such as fears and addiction, it is vital that you explore your past, your relationships and the incidents that made you feel abused and bullied.

It is important to understand that self-compassion is very important. Accept yourself as you are, there is no rush to be “brave” “strong and “not afraid”.

It is also important to understand that this on this world is a test from Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala.

Instead of focusing too much on what is wrong with you; develop an equal sense of where your strengths lie.

Explore your spirituality and seek help from Allah.

Turn to a professional counselor face to face to get regular help until you overcome your issues.


Walaikum Assalam,

Thank you for your question. From your question, I feel as though you have gone through something really painful or traumatic, which you have pointed out as “bullying” four years ago.

It may even be that you have gone through other traumas in your life, however, that one experience you had 4 years ago impacted you to the extent that it embedded a deep sense of fear in you.

Fear is a natural response to any physical or emotional threat to our being, and once we have been exposed to a recurring traumatic event or sometimes even just one traumatic incident in our life – the trauma gets stored in our mind and body.

While our mind is able to repress the negative incidents in our past – our body reacts to any perceived or real threat from our surroundings.

The body then signals our mind of the danger in our surroundings. In such a situation, it would be wrong for you to feel as a coward when in fact you cannot help being afraid.

As for your other concern that you were also addicted to pornography, and perhaps your brain got damaged because of that – scientifically, brain damage cannot occur through merely being addicted to pornography.

However, addiction of any kind; rather than being a problem in itself, is rather a problem of an underlying cause.

I Get Scared of Literally Everything - About Islam

Identify the root cause of your fears

It is not always easy delving into our past – especially when it is painful to do so. However, to understand your present problems which are manifesting in various forms such as fears and addiction, it is vital that you explore your past, your relationships and the incidents that made you feel abused and bullied.

It seems as though all of your current fears, and hypersensitivity to any kind of stimulus from the environment, is linked to one or more traumatic events and is therefore now manifesting in this way.

Be Compassionate With Your Self

Self-compassion is one of the most overlooked components of self-care. We tend to judge ourselves or belittle our selves for the way we are.

Sometimes this self-criticism or judgment is coming from external sources such as the people around us. For instance, there could be someone around you, who could be mocking you for feeling afraid when a child hits you.

In such situation it is easy for us to internalize the criticism. Therefore, it is important to understand that self compassion is very important. Accept yourself as you are, there is no rush to be “brave” “strong and “not afraid”.

Seek Professional Help

I would definitely recommend that you seek help from a professional mental health counselor about the problems you are currently going through.

I feel that there is a lot you are going through and have been through in the past; therefore it is essential that you get support from a qualified professional who can help you.


Check out this counseling video


This Life Is a Test

It is also important to understand that this on this world is a test from Allah Subhanahu Wata’ala. We have been sent here to see who follows through with the commands and instructions given to us by Allah SWT.

Each and every human being on this earth is going through a test of a different nature. Some people have health issues, some have financial issues, while some have problems in relationships.

But in the end – it all boils down to the fact, how well we remember Allah, and follow through with His instructions even when we are broken.

In the Quran, Allah SWT says,

Do people think that they will be left alone because they say: “We believe,” and will not be tested. 
And We indeed tested those who were before them. And Allah will certainly make (it) known (the truth of) those who are true, and will certainly make (it) known (the falsehood of) those who are liars, (although Allah knows all that before putting them to test)’[29:2-3]

In another verse, Allah SWT says,

“Or think you that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe poverty and ailments and were so shaken that even the Messenger and those who believed along with him said, “When (will come) the Help of Allah?” Yes! Certainly, the Help of Allah is near!” [2:214]

Identify Your Strengths

I would like to point out that sometimes we get too focused on the things that are “wrong” with us, to the extent that we cannot focus that we have a person are “whole”.

We have our strengths as well as weaknesses. It is important to realize that you as a person are a unique being, which has been shaped through your genes as well as through your environment and experiences.

Instead of focusing too much on what is wrong with you; develop an equal sense of where your strengths lie.

Explore Your Spirituality

Brother, we often tend to confuse religion with spirituality. Along with fulfilling your religious obligations, it is also very important that you are in touch with your spiritual self.

Delving into the spiritual self helps you become whole. Spirituality can be explored in a million ways – through meditating in a small quiet room, to going out and exploring the vast beauty and greatness of nature.

Ask Allah For Guidance and Mercy

We are all human beings and as humans, we are all bound to make mistakes and err. The important thing is to repent. Allah SWT loves for his Believers to turn to Him and repent for the mistakes they have done, either consciously or unconsciously.

In the Quran, Allah SWT says,

“And when My slaves ask you (O Muhammad) concerning Me, then (answer them), I am indeed Near (to them by My Knowledge). I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me (without any mediator or intercessor). So let them obey Me and believe in Me, so that they may be led aright” [2:186]. 

Salam,

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees are liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

https://aboutislam.net/family-life/your-society/6-ways-to-reduce-anxiety-stress-right-now/
About Zainab Farrukh
Zainab Farrukh is a Counseling Psychologist. She is deeply inspired to bring about change at the individual, interpersonal and global levels.  She can be reached on her Facebook page – Thrive Now