I know life is test, but sometimes I feel down that there always people better than me. Some people have more beauty or wealth since they work for it, and even though I try to improve myself there are always way better people out there. Why in life there some things Allah swt gave people more than others.
How do I accept it and just be happy on my own way?
Answer
In this counseling answer:
• Remember this life is a test.
• Look to those struggling more than you such as having less money, less family or less education.
• Increase your dhikr.
• Write in a gratitude journal daily.
• Make duaa more often and talk to Allah (Swt).
• Choose your environment carefully.
• Become solution-oriented.
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatuulahi wa barakatu.
Thank you for taking the time to write to us and trust us with your question.
It is my understanding you struggle with gratitude and seeing others as having more than you.
You ask the question of why does Allah (most honored, most revered) give some people more than others.
Tests and Blessings
Your question of why does Allah (Swt) give more to some than others is not uncommon.
Many people ask similar questions or wonder why one person is born into royalty and another poverty.
We can deduce that each person’s test is different than others.
It is important we remember this life is not the final destination, this life is a test.
“Do the people think that they will be left to say, “We believe” and they will not be tried” [Quran 29:2]
One person may be tested with poverty while another’s test is being rich.
That might seem unusual but imagine for a moment that wealthy people commit suicide and fall into drug addictions, famous people struggle with depression and others that we perceive as having more are often fighting their own battles we know nothing about.
The point is, our tests and individual battles are just that. What is a test for one is an ease for another and vice versa.
Gratitude
Being grateful is a healing attribute and part of an overall good quality of life.
Even a millionaire can be ungrateful and constantly compares himself to billionaires saying “why are they getting more than me”.
This type of attitude is exactly why the Prophet Mohamed (peace be upon him) encourages us to look to those struggling more than us instead of those with what we perceive as more.
Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger said:
“Look at those who are beneath you and do not look at those who are above you, for it is more suitable that you should not consider as less the blessing of Allah.” Sunan Ibn Majah
Remember everyone struggles, but we usually only see their highlight reel not their struggles.
Most people don’t advertise what hardships they have, they only show the good things and best pictures of their life.
The person with more money that you perceive as having more in life might actually be dealing with a death in the family or health concerns that you know nothing about.
Some of those people you perceive as having more than you might actually look at you and wish they had some of your blessings! Subhanallah, I promise you brother you only see the highlight reels of others not their actual reality.
How to Increase Gratitude
Inshallah you can increase your gratitude and find greater happiness in life.
Here are some gratitude exercises you can start today.
Increase your dhikr. This might seem simple, but the impact can be profound.
Actively strive to say dhikr more throughout the day.
This reminds you to be more God-conscious and over time lifts your gratitude.
For example, when something good happens say alhamdulillah.
If you see someone who has the blessing of a newborn baby or a job promotion, say mashallah.
Even if you are in a situation where you don’t feel comfortable to say it out loud, you can say it in your mind and heart.
Reflect on 5 things daily. Each day think about 5 specific things you are grateful for and write them down in a gratitude journal.
Such as, my family is healthy, I received praise at work, I was able to buy groceries or I was able to breathe and see.
You might raise an eyebrow at that last one, I did that on purpose Brother.
We often take for granted gifts such as eyesight, taste and being able to live another day.
Imagine how grateful you would be in life if you reflected on those everyday gifts.
“…If you are grateful, I will surely increase you [in favor]…” [Quran 14:7]
Make Duaa. Don’t hesitate to speak to Allah (Swt) and express your emotions as well as desires.
Ask for what you want, pray istikhara, reflect on what happens and keep communicating.
You can talk to Allah (Swt) whenever you like. Reach out and ask for greater understanding and gratitude, if you are struggling with something then talk about it to Allah (Swt).
Inshallah you will see your duaas are always answered, it might not be how you expect them to be answered but they will be in some shape or form inshallah.
Check out this counseling video:
Choose your surroundings carefully. Be mindful of who you interact with and the situations you put yourself into.
Are you surrounded by people that are grateful or people that often complain? Your choice of surroundings will impact you.
Your friends and family will impact you. If your friends often complain you can talk to them about being more grateful or you can choose to also be around friends who show more positivity.
Stop complaining, start solving. It is much more beneficial to be solution oriented instead of often complaining without any actions to improve the issue.
For example, if you struggle with feeling that you don’t make as much money as others then examine your own choices and how you can improve this situation.
If you feel that others have higher education than you then make a plan to study more and set goals with timelines and details.
It is not what happens to us that matters so much, it is how we choose to react to it and fix the situation.
Final Thoughts
My dear Brother, it is great you took the time to reach out with this question instead of letting it grow internally.
Increasing your gratitude will help you to increase your overall satisfaction and happiness inshallah. Here are your next steps summarized.
- Remember this life is a test
- Look to those struggling more than you such as having less money, less family or less education
- Increase your dhikr
- Write in a gratitude journal daily
- Make duaa more often and talk to Allah (Swt)
- Choose your environment carefully
- Become solution-oriented
If you utilize those suggestions and actively reflect on them, inshallah your gratitude will increase and you will find yourself happier.
May Allah (Swt) make it easy on you and guide your steps,
ameen.
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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.