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I Feel Frustrated with Life

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Sep 20, 2019

Question

Assalamualaikum.

I’m currently going through some disappointing moments in life and I’m trying my best to stay strong, keep myself busy and pray to Allah to help me out with my situation. I’ve been rather frustrated with life not only recently but for some amount of years now. I feel like life on most parts is stagnant and there isn’t anybody who would be there for me to really listen. They say that you should keep yourself busy to get going but I feel like I have to constantly keep myself distracted to feel better.

Otherwise, emotions will get the best of me. I don’t want to lash out at my loved ones anymore. *Aside from night prayers, are there any other ways for me as a Muslim I would like to ask your perspective on Myer Briggs.

Counselor

Answer


I Feel Frustrated with Life

In this counseling answer:

• Write down all of the things that are causing stagnation, frustration, and disappointment.  Look at your list carefully.

• Attend Islamic events as much as possible to build up your social network as well as expose yourself to new things. Seek to build friendships with brothers at the Masjid.

• Begin to engage in stress reduction techniques such as deep breathing, progressive body relaxation, exercise, aromatherapy as well as dhkir, prayer and quiet time spend reading Qur’an and making duaa.


As Salam Alaykum,

I am sorry to hear of the frustrations and difficulties you are going through in life, brother. These tests and trials can be difficult but with “difficulty comes ease”. While I do not know specifically what difficulties and frustrations you are going through, it appears that you are trying your best to handle them in an Islamic way by drawing closer to Allah, by increasing your prayers as well as trying to be patient.

I Feel Frustrated with Life - About Islam

Facing Disappointments and Frustrations

Often times when we are tried in this life, it is not a matter of keeping oneself busy, but it may be a matter of redirecting yourself and creating a plan of action. Keeping busy just keeps your mind off your problems while facing your problems and creating steps to overcome them; move in a new direction insha’Allah will create lasting change.

I kindly suggest brother that you write down all of the things that are causing stagnation, frustration, and disappointment. Look at your list carefully. Which situations can you change? Make a checkmark by those. Which situations are out of your control and you cannot change (i.e. your parents divorced when you were young)? Identify those and cross them off. Examine your list for relevance. Is it relevant in for your life right now to be worried about buying a home 5 years from now (for example)?


Check out this counseling video:


Cross off ones that are not relevant to you right now. Look at the remaining list. For each item, make a list of steps you can take to resolve the issue. For instance, if you are unsatisfied with your job, make a list of steps of how to improve your satisfaction. These steps may include anything from improving communications with supervisors and co-workers to actually looking for another job. Do the step work for each issue. Once you are done, put these issues in order of importance. This will help you identify and start to resolve that which is causing you the most grief. Begin working on the steps needed to facilitate change in your circumstances.

Brother, we all feel stagnated and disappointed at times. It is during these times that we should insha’Allah actively seek to change the way we are doing things; change the way we think about things, or change our plan of action to produce better outcomes. For example, maybe you wanted to get into X university but you were not accepted.  Instead of focusing on that university-look to others which you may be interested in.

Again, I am sorry if these are vague examples that may not be relevant to your situation, but I do not have any of your examples to go on. The point is, instead of “busying” your mind-use your options and creativity to either resolve these issues in steps or create a new plan of action for your life.

Reducing Stress and Dealing with Emotions

In regards to needing someone to talk to, we all need that. It is a natural need for humankind to desire friendship, closeness with others as well as a compassionate friend to listen to us in times of need. I kindly suggest dear brother that you attend Islamic events as much as possible to build up your social network as well as expose yourself to new things. Seek to build friendships with brothers at the Masjid. Partake in social outings, prayers at the Masjid as well as increasing your Islamic knowledge. All of these things will be blessings in your life insha’Allah and will provide ease.

To prevent yourself from lashing out at loved ones, I suggest insha’Allah that you evaluate your stress levels. There are stress assessments you can take online. Begin to engage in stress reduction techniques such as deep breathing, progressive body relaxation, exercise, aromatherapy as well as dhkir, prayer and quiet time spend reading Qur’an and making duaa. If you feel you will lash out-picture a big red stop sign in your mind, count to 10 and go into dhkir. Insha’Allah these techniques should calm your mind to reduce your stress, frustrations, and anger. If at any time brother you feel as if you are very depressed or you feel out of control, please do seek out the services of a professional counselor in your area.

As far as your question on a perspective on Myer Briggs, this would be a more in-depth response which would be too long for this forum.  Please resubmit that part of the question for a detailed response.
We wish you the best, please let us know how you are doing.

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more: 

A Dua to Say When Depressed and Worried

What Causes Sadness and Depression?

Depression Made Me Harsh and Unfriendly




About Aisha Mohammad

Aisha received her PhD in psychology in 2000 and an MS in public health in 2009. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. Aisha specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. Aisha works at a Family Resource Center, and has a part-time practice in which she integrates healing and spirituality using a holistic approach. Aisha plans to open a holistic care counseling center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocate for social & food justice. In her spare time she enjoys her family, martial arts classes, Islamic studies as well as working on her book and spoken word poetry projects.

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