Wife Wants to Live with Her Parents: How to React?

13 December, 2016
Q As-Salamu alaykum. Recently I have been blessed with a baby girl. My wife is a working woman (teacher by profession). Her job requires 12 to 14 hours of work and travel. I asked her to leave the job and take care of our family (my daughter, my mother and myself). My wife refused to leave the job, instead she wants to live with her mom and dad and doesn't want to come to our house. My daughter is only 2 months old. Please suggest how I should proceed further.

Answer

Wa `alaykum As-Salamu waRahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.

In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. 

All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear questioner, we would like to thank you for the great confidence you place in us, and we implore Allah Almighty to help us serve His cause and render our work for His Sake.

Answering your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and an Islamic Scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:

I am sorry to hear about your predicament. I pray to Allah to help you find an amicable way of reconciling your differences.

If your wife had told you (prior to your marriage) that she would continue her professional career after marriage and would not move out of her parents’ home, then you cannot insist that she leaves her job and move with you.

Otherwise, she should be willing to move out and live with you. Her priority at this stage is to care for her daughter, especially in her formative years. However, she may go back to work after taking a parental leave of one year or two.

If she insists otherwise, you may still continue the marriage as long as you are Ok with it.

I would advise that you speak to an imam or a wise person in the community who can help to counsel both of you; if that does not help you should go for professional counseling.

I suspect that there are far more serious issues at stake; and a counselor can help you sort out the issues and help you find an amicable resolution.

I would also urge you to pray to Allah to reconcile your differences and bring back love and affection into your hearts.

Finally, for some useful tips as to how to strengthen your marriage, please study the book, Blissful Marriage: A Practical Islamic Guide by Ekram Beshir.

Allah Almighty knows best.