Would it be better if I did not become Muslim yet (in other words don't say my Shahadah yet) until I am independent and living on my own so that I can practice properly (food, clothing, praying), or is it better to become Muslim now but not practice properly because I can't eat halal food, can't wear Hijab or Jilbab, I am forced to go to a Catholic School with a certain uniform etc..)?
Answer
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
In this fatwa:
- We do not recommend that you leave your home. You should stay with your parents as much as possible.
- Do not postpone your Shahadah. Say it in your heart.
- Do not tell your parents that you are a Muslim, but practice Islam, in your privacy, as much as you can.
- Whenever you have chance, speak to your parents about the beauty of Islam and its simple and straightforward teachings. However, do not get into argument with them and do not make them angry.
- At the age of 18, you can declare your Islam and then be ready to adjust yourself to the situation.
In his response to the question, Dr. Muzammil Siddiqi, Former President of the Islamic Society of North America (ISNA), states:
May Allah bless you and give you the strength in your faith. We pray to Allah bless you parents so that they also see the light of faith that is now shining in your soul.
May Allah guide them so that they are not too harsh to you and leave you to your true faith.
Indeed, your situation is very much like the situation of many early Muslims in Makkah. They had to go through a lot of hardship to practice their faith. But, in sha’ Allah, there is a great reward and blessing waiting for you.
You say that you are fourteen years old, so according to the Shari`ah you are an adult, but under the American law you are still a minor. I do not recommend that you leave your home.
You should stay with your parents as much as possible. But since you have recognized Allah as your Lord and Prophet Muhammad as the Messenger of Allah for you, do not postpone your Shahadah.
Say the Shahadah in your heart. Do not tell your parents that you are a Muslim, but practice Islam, in your privacy, as much as you can.
If at this time, because of your age, you are not able to practice some teachings of Islam, in sha’ Allah, you will not incur any sin. Referring to this, Allah Almighty says in the Quran, {Allah does not place a burden upon a soul beyond what it can bear…} (Al-Baqarah 2:286)
Whenever you have chance, speak to your parents about the beauty of Islam and its simple and straightforward teachings. However, do not get into argument with them and do not make them angry.
Be good and gentle to your parents, but avoid as much as possible anything that is forbidden in Islam. At the age of 18, you can declare your Islam and then be ready to adjust yourself to the situation.
I hope by that time your parents will also accept you. I suggest that you read a very nice account of some American ladies who went through similar situations. The book is called Daughters of Another Path by Carol Anway.
Another good book recently published is The Sun is Rising in the West: New Muslims Tell About Their Journey to Islam by Muzaffar Haleem and Betty Bowman.
Almighty Allah knows best.
Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.