Unfaithful Wife – She Only Wants Me for My Money

30 September, 2020
Q Asalamu Alaikum . I am going to make this quick inshallah. My wife and I have been having issues for 10 months. Mashallah, I’ve chosen to work through her being disrespectful, disobedient, cheating, lying. I thought we were getting better and I would take her out more to focus on bonding.

Unfortunately, two weeks ago, I found out she was cheating on me. She said she loved him after meeting him at work for 2 weeks. He’s a coworker of hers. She would go to work uncovered with makeup to look good for him.

I feel bad. I asked her to give a khula, but she said no, so I gave her talaq.

I have been in another state for a week now due to work purposes. I’m here for two weeks. I’m here trying to do things better, but she is not covering herself. I’ve asked her to leave the job but she doesn’t want to. She’s still talking to that man and disrespecting me the fullest. She insists on getting money from me when I get paid.

She has made my life a disaster. Three months of idah is long and I keep telling her if she tries I will try to work things out. She says she loves me but then does haram.

I feel like I’m used all the time. She only wants my money. I feel trapped in this marriage and idah period because I’m so unhappy. I don’t want to go through this. Please, help.

Answer

In this counseling answer:

You have a couple of choices:

First: seek scholarly opinion over your financial obligations in light of your situation; that your wife has violated the sanctity of marriage.

Second: Ask yourself who do you want to be in this test that Allah put you through? What’s the best thing you can do?

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About Megan Wyatt
Megan Wyatt is the founder of Wives of Jannah where she offers training programs, live workshops, and relationship coaching for wives and couples. She is a certified Strategic Intervention coach with specialized certifications for working with women and marital relationships and has been coaching and mentoring Muslims globally since 2008. She shares her passion for Islamic personal development in her Passionate Imperfectionist community. She is a wife and homeschooling mother with four children residing in Southern California.