Shall I Leave My Work & Country for My Husband?

26 September, 2020
Q Assalam alaikum.

I am a 27 years old woman working for 4 years. I got married 2 years ago, but we are not together yet. Now our families are planning to get us married, but I have been living my whole life outside my home country and do not like living there due to fewer facilities.

However, my husband is brought up there and he is not interested to come here with me and, therefore, I would be required to resign and settle with him there. My hubby is a nice person.

We just chat but this discussion of my job creates problems between us. I find it difficult to settle where he lives and he doesn't want to come here. Thus, we are delaying the marriage.

I'm very confused about what if I couldn't settle there as my sister didn't like that place either. My husband is trying to convince me and I did say that ok after marriage I would resign because I don't want to upset him. But I’m not happy about it.

I definitely want us to be together but don't want to give up on my job.

Many of my friends are against my decision of resigning as they say “you never know how things will be and how you will adjust.” I am very scared to leave.

After resigning here my career ends completely as I cannot work back home due to safety reasons in my job. I can’t study either. So, I will be 24/7 at home. My life here is the opposite.

Please advise me. I know from religious part, I can’t refuse my husband, but what to do now to convince myself?


Salam Alaykom,

In this video, you will learn what you could do when your husband works abroad and you are hesitant whether to move there.


Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

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About Hannah Morris
Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (