Polygamy Alarm: Should I Call Off the Wedding?

02 July, 2020
Q AssamluAlaikom.

I have been engaged for around a year now. My fiance is a religious man alhamdulillah and treats me very well.

Recently, a discussion about polygamy arose between me and my fiance. He has clearly stated to me that he is into this type of arrangement and that when we are married (Insha'Allah), he might pursue a second wife.

He said that it isn't something certain that he wants to achieve, but if the circumstances were suitable, he would go for it.

I obviously do not agree with polygamy, as I see it to be problematic rather than peaceful.

We have been arguing about this topic for months now and it's starting to get exhausting for me, as we never get to a conclusion.

I suggested writing it down in our marriage contract, but he said he wouldn't accept it, as it is his right to be polygamous.

He suggested that if I wanted I could break things off with him, as it is the fairest thing to do for both of us to ensure our rights since we can't seem to agree on it.

The previous statement really hurt me, because why would he throw our relationship away for such a reason?

We have a very good relationship Alhamdulillah and we have almost matching mentalities, but polygamy is where we disagree.

Do you think I should break up with him?


In this counseling video:

It isn’t set in stone whether he will marry again since he hasn’t said it in a definite way.

It isn’t easy to run two households especially when it comes to finances.

If he chooses to go down that path it is his right, and he should give you equal rights as well.

At this point leave this conversation to the side as it brings stressors about a situation that may never end up happening.

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About Hannah Morris
Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)