I Feel Bad for Lying to My Husband about Exams

10 August, 2020
Q Asalamu alaikum,

When my husband and I first got married he asked me to go to university so I did. I started failing and didn’t know what to do because when it comes to school he’s extremely hard on me to the point he treats me as if I’m his child instead of his wife.

Also things have to always go his way or it’s a problem and he stops talking.

Instead of me telling him I failed I did something completely wrong I lied to him and told him everything’s good and I’m passing. Recently I told him the truth and apologized. I told him I knew I was wrong.

I wanted to fix things. He ignored me, called my parents, told them everything and how he doesn’t want to talk to Me. He calls them every time we have an argument even if it’s a very small one.

It's been over 2 weeks now without him talking and I’ve been giving him his space but I don’t know how much longer because we don’t even live in the same country and with covid-19 and borders closed I can’t even go see him.

My marriage is falling apart. I’m constantly thinking of him. I’m worried about him. My heart is aching. I just want to know if he’s okay.

I regret what I did and I know it was very wrong of me to do what I did and it’s a sin.

Please give me some advice. I'm lost and don’t know what else to do.

Answer

In this counseling video:

Take the matter to Allah by genuinely asking Allah’s forgiveness and not repeating the act.

If it happens again do not resort to lying as it will fill you with guilt and also make your husband angry.

If you know that you prepared for your exam and that you did the best you could then that’s all that really matters.

Use this time to do something that makes you happy instead of trying to please anyone else. This will help in boosting your self-esteem.

Do call him to check on him now and again, but also give him some space. If he really loves you he will contact you.

Salam,

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About Hannah Morris
Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)