Q Salaam Advisors.

I am writing with a concern I feel is important to discuss for me to get some perspective on.

I have been married for two years Alhamdulillah and it most definitely has been a trying two years at that. There have been many troubles and almost a divorce back in last August, fortunately, we have continued working on our marriage and I have begun therapy for my own childhood traumas and mental health which has seemed to buffer the issue i felt.

Six months or so on and I feel like I have a core fear of being left alone, I have no family connections other than a sister and this does not seem to be reconcilable as my parents continue to emotionally hurt me. So my husband and his family is really all I have.

Recently, my husband’s brother has gotten married and they now live with us and also my older brother in law and sister in law with their two children. The house is rather a busy one now and this is something I have struggled with since I have lived many years alone in care as a teenager/early adulthood.

Recently, there was a misunderstanding between the new sister in law and I and she had completely blown the situation out of proportion which made me feel very uncomfortable as she is quite strange for an adult because she is quite childish although she is many years older than I am.

I have discussed my feelings of uncomfortableness to my husband and he has trouble understanding. I got quite upset with him as all I have dreamt about is living in my own home with him and begin a family. I have compromised, but now there are additional two adults living with us, so I feel so trapped; I feel like I have to censor what I say or do in case family secrets get leaked to this new bride at home. I feel she is also of a particular personality taste and therefore she may cause other over the top misunderstandings which would further cause me to feel uncomfortable.

I would like to have a way to rationally talk to my husband about a plan for our future, but I fear he will want to leave me if I push too much.

Which then leaves me to question is he right for me, for a long while I have ignored the serious hurt I felt and even the divorce I initiated in the past because I had put the emphasis on my therapy. But I still feel like he can be quite flippant and may decide well he doesn’t want to ever leave his family and if I push him then he will leave me. And I will be all alone without anyone.

I just want to know if I could get my husband to understand my needs of requiring a safe stable environment to live in because I did not have this as a child.

And if he is unwilling to do this, what shall I do?