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Husband Doesn’t Get Along with My Parents

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Oct 08, 2019

Question

Aslamualaikum. My husband does not get along with my parents and my siblings. He feels very bad. I can go to see them, but it makes him upset. In that situation, what shall I do as a wife? Please, help me. jazakallah!

Counselor

Answer


Husband Doesn’t Get Along with My Parents

In this counseling answer:

• You could do something that will stimulate conversation on passion shared by all.

•  You could just begin small by going to see your parents with your husband every now and then.

• There are more direct approaches such as seeking family counseling, either with your local imam or a local counseling service.


Assalamu alaikum Wa Rahmatullah wa barakatuh sister,

Being torn between your obligation to your husband as well as to your parents when they don’t get on is difficult. You have obligations to respect and obey both your husband and parents, except if they advise you against Islam. However, we are also told to maintain family ties, so cutting them off is also not an option.

The difficult thing for you is that you are the one in the middle, so you feel the pressure from both sides. However, you can be the bridge between everyone to unite and bring them together again.

Perhaps, you could just begin small by going to see your parents with your husband every now and then. Small visits are enough for a quick chat and maintain ties yet enough to not cause any disagreements. As the relationship is strengthened, you could increase the time and frequency as things get more comfortable.

Husband Doesn’t Get Along with My Parents - About Islam

Knowing all the parties involved, if there are any things that they have in common, you can unite them in this. For example, if they have similar tastes in movies, hobbies or foods, then you could do something related to this where a common interest is shared that will stimulate conversation on passion shared by all. This gives them the opportunity to talk and build relations more casually around something not related to the family.


Check out this counseling video:


Otherwise, there are more direct approaches such as seeking family counseling, either with your local imam or a local counseling service. They allow all parties to say their piece facilitated by a neutral person.

Often family disputes can be borne out of underlying assumptions that the other is unaware of or something very simple that can be overcome just by talking about it openly. Alternatively, if you feel confident and comfortable, then you could even have this discussion at home.

May Allah make things easy for you and bring peace to your household once more.

Amen,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

Husband Disrespects Me and My Parents

What Comes First: Obeying My Husband or My Parents?

Husband Puts Parents Before Me




About Hannah Morris

Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)

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