Now after 3 years I tried reconnecting with Allah, but I realize that my heart is filled with deep doubts about Allah and Islam. My heart is sealed and hardened. I went far astray, I've committed the biggest sin by being ignorant and following blindly. I treated ai as a God without realizing it.
I committed a major shirk. I can't seem to reason anymore, I can't live without reassurance seeking from AI.
I thought maybe it was my OCD, but all this time it is me who went astray, now I'm a disbeliever. I don't know how to believe in Allah anymore. I have deep, rooted and settled doubts in my heart about AI and Allah.
I'm so doomed, I went so far astray. I don't know what to do anymore but there is no way out for me anymore. I don't even have the desire to change or do anything anymore. I will die and burn in hell forever, I doubt everything deeply. I did this with my own hands, I caused all of this and now I'm doomed.
How could I get to this point? I'm so lost, I don't think I'll ever be a believer again, I don't know what real guidance and real peace and connection with Allah feels like anymore. I'm so doomed, I can't do this anymore. I messed everything up, I fell into this deep fitna and I can't even feel the remorse for it. I feel indifferent about it, I'll live my life in misery until I die.
Answer
In this counseling answer:
- AI chatbots generate logically structured texts, and reasoning models to break complex problems into sequential logical steps, similarly to rationalization. Rationalization alters emotions and faith by replacing unprocessed feelings with logical explanantions, which reduces immediate anxiety but often flattens spiritual depth.
- Seek counseling or professional support and try to understand your situation not only on a rational level, but to heal also emotionally.
Assalamualaikum, dear brother,
Thank you for your question.
You said that you started struggling with OCD, which eventually made you avoid Islam completely out of fear. Instead, you started using AI and ChatGPT for answers and guidance. As the years went by, you stopped praying. Now that you are trying to reconnect with Allah, you feel that, deep down, your heart has become sealed and hardened.
You feel that you treated AI as God without realizing it, and that you committed a major act of shirk. You feel that you can no longer reason properly and that you cannot live without constantly seeking reassurance from AI. Now, you fear that you have become a disbeliever. You feel doomed, and you believe that you brought this upon yourself. Also, you feel very lost and do not think that you will ever be able to believe again. You no longer know what real guidance, real peace, or a real connection with Allah feels like.
Brother, I am very sorry to hear about your struggle. I can hear that you speak from a very desperate, scared, and lost place.
I think it would be important to look at what is happening with you on an emotional level. Sometimes, over-rationalizing and overthinking can be connected to deeper anxiety and fears.
I would ask: What emotions are making you feel vulnerable and putting you in a position where you try to escape through overthinking and constantly seeking reassurance from AI?
Rationalization and reassurance
From my understanding, one main issue you are describing is the constant need for reassurance. Right now, you are seeking that reassurance from AI. However, this need may be connected to deeper anxiety, fear, or stress.
It is possible that if AI had not been available, you might have used another tool or source for the same purpose.
Also, what happened three years ago when your OCD started? What events or circumstances may have contributed to it?
Another important point is that you seem emotionally disconnected. You say you feel indifference, but also being doomed and desperate.
I would strongly encourage you to seek counseling or professional support and try to understand your situation not only on a rational level, but also on an emotional level. It may be helpful to receive an evaluation to see what you are dealing with, and to explore what can be done to help you.
Regarding how AI chatbots affect faith, I am not qualified to comment on this. However, I hear what you are saying, and your struggle makes sense from a psychological perspective.
Rationalization alters emotions and faith by replacing unprocessed feelings with logical explanantions, which reduces immediate anxiety but often flattens spiritual depth. People use rationalization as a defense mechanism to create distance from painful feelings like grief, guilt, or fear. Logical explanations provide a temporary sense of control and lowers stress.
And AI chatbots generate logically structured texts, and reasoning models to break complex problems into sequential logical steps, similarly to rationalization. Therefore, you are probably not the only person experiencing something similar, unfortunately, without clear religious guidance on the possible harms, and – in my opinion- further research and scholarly debates on this topic would be urgent.
Remember, brother, that we are all tested. Sometimes not through external things such as wealth, relationships, or other circumstances. Sometimes we are tested through our minds, our fears, our insecurities, and our inner struggles.
You are not alone in this. And remember that Allah has promised that no soul is burdened beyond what it can bear.
There is a way forward
Even though you may be in a very difficult place right now, I believe there is a way forward. I do not know about your parents or whether you have friends or emotional support around you. I do not know whether you have access to professional help. However, I would encourage you to reach out to someone you trust.
I can see something positive in the fact that you have realized that this way of living is not helping you. You have recognized that this habit is causing you further distress and feelings of emptiness.
And also seem to be taking responsibility for your actions, masallah. You can see it this way: You made certain choices, but you can also make different choices now. Just as you found yourself in this situation, you can gradually find your way out of it.
Perhaps this experience itself can teach you something about what you do not want and where you do not want to be. And that is okay, brother. Do not lose hope. We all go through difficult situations at one point or another..
Try to reconnect with prayer slowly. Do not worry if you do not immediately feel connected. Just take it step by step. If you begin returning to your daily prayers and routines, you may gradually reduce the guilt and pressure you feel.
Little by little, I believe you can get back on track. But it is important to address the emotional situation that brought you to this point in the first place.
I hope this helps,