I do appreciate the fact that men provide for their wives making them free of any financial stress and problems but is it enough? Aren't emotions important? Women have more emotions than men. I really believe men cannot figure out what their wives are feeling? I do understand them (husbands) but still...
Furthermore, recently i came across topic of polygamy, and it have worked as a last nail to my coffin. It is a hard topic for me, and i cannot believe women can be happy in it no matter how much just a man is. If you ask about me I really do lose respect for a man who has more wives. Of course I am not a fan of legendary love stories but still loyalty is a demand of relationships. I can't say polygamy is not for me ', as i know no woman likes it. I can't shout, cry or beg in front of a man to not marry another woman nor can accept him after he marries another woman even he divorce her afterwards. Trust me, I have acknowledged its advantages but they still can't convince me. I don't want condolement from a polygamous husband, his assurance that he loves me, Even if he is telling that truth, that love is useless for me. In Islam women are not allowed to divorce( expect for some situations) so i will be struck in it as according to a hadith a woman who asks for divorce will not enter paradise.
My whole point is that even if the only benefit is financial security for a woman, then a job is a much better option. I know I may sound extremely immature, delusional but I can't cope with this negativity in my life.
Men are given higher status than women as a husband. I am myself a dominant person, if i failed to be a dutiful wife then i will be a hell dweller Can you kindly guide me in this situation? How can I cope with these situations? I know all of my thoughts are irrational but still they are there.
Answer
An Islamic marriage is meant to be a source of comfort. So, focus on the deen instead of the examples around you.
Learn to effectively communicate your feelings prior to marriage and needs in an Islamic premarital marriage course.
How to overcome your negative feelings towards marriage? Check out the counselor’s advice!
Listen to more from Sr. Aisha Mohammed:
- I Found Out I Am a Second Wife; Help!
- How Can I Save Our 15-Year Marriage?
- Would Studying Psychology Turn Me Into an Atheist?
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