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Husband Lacks Empathy and Compassion; I Can’t Cope with It!

11 March, 2023
Q Asalamalaykum, I've been married for 7 years and my husband is extremely explosive, volatile and unpredictable. He's been informally diagnosed with ADHD and having researched his behavior he displays all the common traits of a narcissist.

I've a very strong resilient person, however he's chipped away at me and I now feel like I'm near insanity. He displays no empathy or compassion. I've told him I'm falling apart but he carries on as normal. I cannot cope with the emotional abuse. He claims he'll go to the appointment that I've made with a physiotherapist, meanwhile I'm literally losing my mind as he's unbearable to cope with.

Please advise what I can do.


Empathy and compassion are two necessary traits that ensure better dealing in our social interactions and relationships.

If your spouse lacks these traits and his behavior is volatile and explosive, it can be very frustrating and hurtful.

Try to encourage him to seek counseling and therapy and furthermore, to set up a formal diagnosis in order to receive the most suitable treatment.  

Once he is on the path of healing, you can decide how to support him and whether you can live your life by his side or not.

Check out the full advice here.

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.