I Feel More Sympathy for Women; Is this Wrong?

13 September, 2020
Q Assalamu alaikum.

I am female. I feel a more mental connection with members of my own gender. I feel more sympathy for women and have a soft corner for women because they are the victims of torture, harsh treatment, unfairness, misogyny, sexism from distant past to present.

I adore members of my gender so much. Is it regarded as partiality & sin?

Please note that I don't hate men but I have annoyance for some men's attitude of misogyny & belittling women. And I am against any bad things done by whether male or female.

So I hope you won't misunderstand me. I do not have homosexual desires.

Answer


In this counseling answer:

  • Some women from all over the world have experienced numerous horrors. Your “soft spot” or connection is an appropriate response to some of the inhumane treatment.
  • As a woman, it is easier for you to identify perhaps with the various struggles and injustices that women may go through. This doesn’t mean something is wrong just because you feel deeply towards women. You just need to decide how to channel it proactively.
  • I would kindly suggest, insha’Allah, that you get involved in some charity work such as volunteering at a domestic violence shelter, volunteering at a female refugee center, or wherever your heart takes you in the community that resonates with your longing to help.
  • Sister, I would kindly suggest that you view your connection as one that is a gift and perhaps a “calling”- something deep inside your heart which you feel strongly about. Something you wish to see improve, change, or be eradicated.

As-Salamu ‘Alaykum sister,

You seem like a very aware, conscious and compassionate young lady. Your ability to connect with and feel for women is a wonderful attribute. While as women, we form close bonds of sisterhood with other women. It seems you are very much aware of the conditions in which some women have had to live and continue to live in throughout history.

Suffering

It is no secret that as women, we have suffered many trials in the way of abuse, rape, torture, oppression, sexism, misogyny and harsh treatment as you have noted. Some women from all over the world have experienced numerous horrors. Your “soft spot” or connection is an appropriate response to some of the inhumane treatment.

In fact, your concern and connection may make you a good advocate for women in regards to standing up to injustices which women worldwide face. It may even propel you to study counseling, psychology, women’s studies, non-profits, etc. in college in order to develop a career path that would enable you to help-empower women.

I Feel More Sympathy for Women; Is this Wrong? - About Islam

There are many paths you can explore such as a victim advocate, social justice specialist, international humanitarian, domestic violence therapist,  psychologist, social worker, photojournalist, writer, the possibilities are endless.

A Gift

Sister, I would kindly suggest that you view your connection as one that is a gift and perhaps a “calling”– something deep inside your heart which you feel strongly about. Something you wish to see improve, change, or be eradicated.

I urge you to in sha’ Allah explore how you may be interested in being part of a process of change or a refuge of hope and guidance to those seeking relief.

I am not an Islamic scholar; therefore, I cannot address this as such. However, our beloved Prophet Mohammad said,

“A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim, so he should not oppress him, nor should he hand him over to an oppressor. Whoever fulfilled the needs of his brother, Allah will fulfill his needs; whoever brought his (Muslim) brother out of a discomfort, Allah will bring him out of the discomforts of the Day of Resurrection, and whoever screened a Muslim, Allah will screen him on the Day of Resurrection. ” (Bukhari) 

The Qur’an speaks about oppression stating,

“And what is [the matter] with you that you fight not in the cause of Allah and [for] the oppressed among men, women, and children who say, “Our Lord, take us out of this city of oppressive people and appoint for us from Yourself a protector and appoint for us from Yourself a helper?” (4:75)

So, as you can see, dear sister, your connection, and feelings are based on a very real and human quality – the desire for justice and end to oppression.

Some people have deep feelings about cruelty to animals or saving the environment, children’s rights, prisoner rights and so forth. However, Allah gave you (and many others) a heart that wishes righteousness for women.


Check out this counseling video:


Community involvement

As a woman, it is easier for you to identify perhaps with the various struggles and injustices that women may go through. This doesn’t mean something is wrong just because you feel deeply towards women. You just need to decide how to channel it proactively.

In sha’ Allah you can be of service to the many great needs that exist concerning women worldwide.

I would kindly suggest, insha’Allah, that you get involved in some charity work such as volunteering at a domestic violence shelter, volunteering at a female refugee center, or wherever your heart takes you in the community that resonates with your longing to help.

Additionally, by exploring possible career paths as illustrated above, you can in a way utilize this compassion and mercy you have for women in a positive way.

I am confident that in sha’ Allah once you find the best path for you, you will begin to feel more at ease with your own passions and desires regarding the statuses of women historically as well as in the present.

Possibly, if more people felt connections to others as well as “soft spots”, this world may be a less harsh place.

We wish you the best, sister,

***

Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

Read more:

About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha received her PhD in psychology in 2000 and an MS in public health in 2009. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. Aisha specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach. Aisha works at a Family Resource Center, and has a part-time practice in which she integrates healing and spirituality using a holistic approach. Aisha plans to open a holistic care counseling center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocate for social & food justice. In her spare time she enjoys her family, martial arts classes, Islamic studies as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.