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Unsupportive, Abusive Husband; What Are My Rights?

16 August, 2022
Q Greetings,

I am in a situation where I feel trapped.

Christian married to a Muslim man.

Abusive: mentally, financially, physically, verbally.

Doesn't work, has no will for work, has a criminal past. Children are involved.His symptoms clearly lead to antisocial personality disorder.

No help from anywhere.I work all day long to support and provide everything for the family. He doesn't even buy bread. I asked for help from his family. No way. He's extremely manipulative. Everyone takes his side away from our family. I deal with everything on my own. When I wrote physical abuse I meant not beating, but I don't feel myself, I'm exhausted from work.

How is this okay in Islam? I feel wrong, like I'm supporting a devil. I'm against God. I have no one from my side to support me, as I'm considered a loser. I lost all relations, just because I'm hiding all problems. I'm hiding him and asking the kids to do so. He's always abroad, when he sits and smokes at home.

What are the rights in such a situation?


Not willing to work and being abusive mentally, financially, and verbally are not traits of a Muslim husband and are unacceptable in Islam.

Trace back: when did all this start? What happened?

Set boundaries, seek Islamic marriage counseling and get to know your rights and duties as husband and wife.

What else can you do? Check out the advice and learn more here.

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Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees are liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.

About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha has a PhD in psychology, an MS in public health and a PsyD. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years at Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. She has worked with clients with mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, panic disorder, trauma, and OCD. She also facilitated support groups and provided specialized services for victims of domestic violence, HIV positive individuals, as well youth/teen issues. Aisha is certified in Mindfulness, Trauma Informed Care, Behavioral Management, Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and Confidentiality & Security. Aisha is also a Certified Life Coach, and Relationship Workshop facilitator. Aisha has a part-time Life Coaching practice in which she integrates the educational concepts of stress reduction, mindfulness, introspection, empowerment, self love and acceptance and spirituality to create a holistic healing journey for clients. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocates for prisoner rights/reentry, social & food justice, as well as advocating for an end to oppression & racism. In her spare time, Aisha enjoys her family, photography, nature, martial arts classes, Islamic studies, volunteering/charity work, as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.