Want to Divorce from My Rude Husband

10 January, 2017
Q Salam, Can I ask divorce from my rude husband? He failed to be a good husband to me. He never prayed with me. He loves insulting me. He loves cheating and he doesn't pay attention to our family. What he has is for him and his family not to ours. He don't respect my family even my mom. How can I be free from him, he doesn't want to divorce me? I can't live in this kind of life. Please help me.



As-Salamu ‘Alaikum dear sister,

It is not surprising that you wish to seek divorce at this point. It must be very difficult for you to live in this type of situation, besides that it makes your life feel very miserable.

Before you seek a divorce, I would first recommend trying to resolve your differences by talking. Perhaps he doesn’t realise how rude he is to you and won’t if you don’t tell him and talk about it. You most probably loved him very much at some point and things were good between you, so the first step is to try saving the marriage. After all, marriage is a big protection for us from bigger sins and completes half our deen.

If this fails, the next step is to go and speak to your local imam and talk with him about the situation. It might be that he will first recommend counselling for the two of you. Maybe he can sit with you to discuss the differences and see if there is a way to resolve them. If you can, then alhamdulillah. If you cannot and the imam does not believe either that you would be able to resolve your differences, then he can still guide you on the next step towards seeking a divorce.

The method for seeking divorce varies depending on the country you are in and the type of marriage you have. This is something the imam can directly advise you on.

In the mean time, take care of yourself; keep busy with positive things and don’t lose hope in Allah’s (swt) mercy. In sha’ Allah, whatever the outcome, you will be happy and content with Allah’s (swt) will.

May Allah (swt) make it easy and smooth for you, sister.


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About Hannah Morris
Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)