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29 November, 2016
Q As-salamu `alaykum. I was born Muslim and I rediscovered Islam seven years ago. I have no doubt in my heart that Allah exists, that Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) is His Messenger, and that Islam is the truth. I pray and fast as my religion tells me, but I keep falling into the trap of alcohol and pre-marital sex. I abstained for three years, but I still keep going back. I know it is wrong and I feel guilty every time, but I keep doing it. I do not even feel like I ā€œneedā€ it, but I just do it anyway. I need to break out of this cycle, but I am finding it very difficult. Is it normal that a Muslim can believe so strongly and still commit these sinful acts? Is this a trait of hypocrisy? Allah knows that in my heart I want nothing more than to be a devout Muslim. Please advise me.

Answer

Answer:

As-Salamu `Alaikum,

Thank you so much for reaching out to us. May Allah Most High grant you guidance, strong iman (faith) and the willpower to overcome your fight with alcohol and pre-marital sex. We are so glad to read your own re-affirmation of your belief in Allah (swt), His Messenger (saw), and Islam in general.

The first step towards re-aligning one’s life with Islamic teachings is to be aware that one is out of line with the teachings. You are obviously aware that drinking alcohol and engaging in pre-marital sex are both prohibited in Islam.

The second step is to increase one’s understanding of the severe punishment that awaits those who willingly transgress the limits set by Allah (swt) and His Messenger (saw). We urge you to read the Qur’an and to reflect on the meanings of the verses because only then will you come to know that people who die without repenting for their sins will most likely find Hell as their final abode. You do not know when you will die. You do not know whether you will die while you still have a bottle of alcohol in your hand. You do not know whether you will die at the very moment that you are engaging in pre-marital sex. Can you fathom the torment of Hellfire?

Allah’s Messenger (saw) said, “Your (ordinary) fire is one of 70 parts of the (Hell) Fire.” Someone asked, “O Allah’s Messenger (saw) This (ordinary) fire would have been sufficient (to torture the unbelievers),” Allah’s Apostle said, “The (Hell) Fire has 69 parts more than the ordinary (worldly) fire, each part is as hot as this (worldly) fire.” (Bukhari)

If you remind yourself daily of this hadith alone, you will, in sha’ Allah, develop the willpower to fight off the temptations of Satan!

The third step is to stop committing the actual sins and to make a promise to Allah (swt) and to yourself that you will never go back to those sins again. You cannot make this promise without ridding your life of all connections to alcohol and pre-marital sex. You should literally get rid of every last drop of alcohol in your home. You should not purchase any more alcohol. You should not attend parties and functions at which alcohol is being served.

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Concerning pre-marital sex, you should stop having contact with the circle of friends who might either encourage you to engage in such activities or participate with you in such sinful activities. You should rid your life of all content that is pornographic and that would tempt you to seek out others in order to satisfy your sexual desires. Make a promise to Allah (swt) and yourself today and live by that promise!

The fourth step is to feel remorse for your sinful actions and to repent to Allah (swtt) day and night. You need to find a quiet place where you can be alone. Make wudu’ (ablution) and pray to Allah (swt). Remain in your prostration with your forehead firmly against the ground and bring yourself to tears, feeling remorse for your sins. Cry your heart out and beg Allah (swt) to forgive you. You have to realize that Allah (swt) guides whom He (swt) wills and, therefore, you should spend every waking moment making du`aa’ to Allah (swt) to put you among those whom He (swt) guides!

Finally, we urge you to seek counseling so that you can receive professional support to help you rid yourself of both the desire for alcohol and for pre-marital sex. Of course, the long-term solution for the pre-marital sex is for you to prepare yourself for marriage so that you can satisfy your desires in a permissible manner with the person whom you love. Make du`aa’ to Allah (swt) to grant you guidance and a pious wife who will be a blessing for your faith, family, and future. Allah knows best.

Salam,

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About Abdul-Lateef Abdullah
Abdul-Lateef Abdullah, an American convert to Islam, obtained his Bachelor’s degree in Political Science & Economics at the University of Delaware, his Master’s degree in Social Work from Columbia University, and recently completed his Ph.D. from the Institute for Community & Peace Studies, Universiti Putra Malaysia, in the field of Youth Studies. He has worked as a Program Assistant for the Academy for Educational Development (Washington, D.C.); a Social Worker at the Montefiore Medical Center (Bronx, New York); and the Director of Documentation and Evaluation at Community IMPACT! (Washington, D.C.). He has also worked with the the Taqwa Gayong Academy (New Jersey, U.S.A./Penang, Malaysia) for troubled youth, both Muslim and non-Muslim. As a recent (1999)Ā convert to Islam, he spends much time writing about his experiences as a Muslim-American convert.Ā