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Daughter Left Home to Marry a Non-Muslim

Questioner

Anonymous

Reply Date

Sep 17, 2019

Question

As-salamoualaikum, My daughter left home three months ago. I know she is in love with a Hindu boy. She told me that she lives alone far from me and I don’t know her exact place. She said they are waiting to get married because both of them are studying.

I also know that they have an intimate relationship, that’s why I stopped her university, but after two months she ran away. She is 21 years old and I have tried a lot to bring her back but I failed. Now I only make duah so that Allah opens her eyes and brings her back home.

Counselor

Answer


Marry a Non-Muslim

In this counseling answer:

•Continue to try and contact her and express your concern. Whilst what she is doing is concerning, do also be careful to approach it very carefully and sensitively also so as not to push her further away.

•Let her know that you will always be there for her so that she knows that if she chooses to leave this man she can always come back to you.

•You could ask any friends or family members who she is close to also talk to her. Ask people who you know she is particularly receptive to and more likely to listen to.


Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuh,

It is very hard for parents when their children grow up and leave home. In your case, this is made especially difficult when you are sure she has left to be with someone outside of Islam and that she is committing haram acts with him outside of marriage.

To this point you did everything that you could to prevent this by pulling her from university, but now she has left and you don’t know where she is exactly, you feel helpless to prevent her getting into any harm despite all your best efforts. May Allah read you for trying to guide her aright. There are a couple of things you can try in this situation, however.

First and most importantly never lose hope in the mercy of Allah. Continue to pray for her. Ask Allah to guide her aright and bring her back to you and keep her away from harm. Be patient and persistent in your prayers and in sha Allah He will answer your prayers when the time is right.


Check out this counseling video


Continue to try and contact her and express your concern. Whilst what she is doing is concerning, do also be careful to approach it very carefully and sensitively also so as not to push her further away. Also, let her know that you will always be there for her so that she knows that if she chooses to leave this man she can always come back to you.

Furthermore, you could ask any friends or family members who she is close to also talk to her. Ask people who you know she is particularly receptive to and more likely to listen to. Likewise, if it’s possible to contact the man’s family to express your concerns then this could be an option too.

Ultimately, as an adult now there is less you can do to intervene in this situation, but prayer will be your best companion amongst the other things you can try.

***

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About Hannah Morris

Hannah Morris is a mum of 4 and she currently works as Counsellor and Instructor of BSc. Psychology at the Islamic Online University (IOU). She obtained her MA degree in Psychology and has over 10 years of experience working in health and social care settings in the UK, USA, and Ireland. Check out her personal Facebook page, ActiveMindCare, that promotes psychological well-being in the Ummah. (www.facebook.com/activemindcare)

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