In this counseling answer:
“Evaluate what is right for you as an individual—with the consciousness of Allah (swt) in our decision-making process. Just remember that Allah (swt) is watching you, but not in harshness – in mercy. His mercy is more than His strictness, except in the case of shirk.”
As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh,
I fully understand your situation. When I was pregnant or nursing, I could not fast at all, not even one day. I would get so dizzy that I could not function at all. All I could do is lie down. So, I decided that I should not fast. One of my daughters, on the other hand, could fast, travel, breastfeed, be pregnant, all at the same time. My other two daughters could only fast every other day or every third day.
So, you see, everyone is different. You have to figure out what you are capable of by trying. Then, figure out what you feel comfortable with in terms of the health of yourself and your baby, and your life. When I could not function at all, I was not free to lie in bed all day.
If I had been, maybe I could have fasted. But I had other children, and husband and a house to take care of; I had to cook and clean, and, and, and….No other person can tell you what is right for you.
It is what is called a “relative” choice: there is no “right” and “wrong” way to define it. It is something that is between each individual and Allah (swt), according to that particular individual’s needs and capabilities. So, please enjoy living in the mercy, love, and compassion of Allah (swt).
Please do not beat yourself up over it when it is a provision for you—a blessing from Allah (swt) because Allah (swt) knows the struggles of the wife and the mother, how her body is taken from her when she is servicing her husband and children.
Our lives and even our bodies are not our own, and Allah (swt) knows it! He made it that way and provided for us—to help us with this problem. He comforts us with that provision for our sacrifices for others. So, enjoy it!
Don’t feel inadequate. Feel fulfilled in your job as a wife and mother. Please do not devalue your service to your family when you can’t do as much of the other type of ibadah (fasting, tarawih, etc.).
There are two types of worship: faith through hardship and the practices like prayer. How Allah (swt) weighs these things is in the knowledge of Allah (swt) alone, not our knowledge. All we can do is keep saying Bismillah before everything and keep trying to make the best judgment when faced with this sort of dilemma.
Evaluate what is right for you as an individual—with the consciousness of Allah (swt) in our decision-making process. Just remember that Allah (swt) is watching you, but not in harshness – in mercy. His mercy is more than His strictness, except in the case of shirk.
So, have mercy on yourself and bath in the pleasure of Allah’s (swt) love for the mother and her undying, supreme service and devotion to her children and husband.
May Allah (swt) make it easy for you!
Disclaimer: The conceptualization and recommendations stated in this response are very general and purely based on the limited information provided in the question. In no event shall AboutIslam, its counselors or employees be held liable for any damages that may arise from your decision in the use of our services.