My Children Are Bathing Together, Is It OK?

12 December, 2019
Q My son is 18 months, and my daughter is 3 years old. They still bath together, they both enjoy playing together as they're having too much fun with bubbles and toys, is it ok? And at what age should they stop bathing together?

Answer

In this counseling answer:

•As children develop at different rates within developmental stages, you may soon find that your daughter will become curious about her little brother’s private parts as well as her own.

•Don’t make her feel bad or guilty for being curious, but when she does begin to get curious you may want to ask her if she would like privacy when she baths as she is becoming a “big girl”.

•I would kindly suggest separating them slowly at first, maybe give your son a bath, then her, then the next day bathe them together and keep switching up until they are bathing separately most of the time.


As salamu alaykum,

Thank you for writing to us. I remember my children at those ages playing in the tub with bubbles and toys and these are indeed good memories!  These are times when siblings bond and have much fun.  At this age, there is no harm in them playing together in the tub.

While your 3 years old may notice her sibling looks different,  it may not be an issue unless she wants to touch his private parts or becomes overly inquisitive to the point wherein it is a distraction at bath time. As long as they are having fun and are not preoccupied with private parts there is no harm.

While I am not an Islamic scholar I can only advise you based on my own experiences as a mom as well as other parent’s experiences.  As children develop at different rates within developmental stages, you may soon find that your daughter will become curious about her little brother’s private parts as well as her own.  This is normal sister and if you do not make a big deal out of it and just tell her that Allah made boys and girls different it should suffice.

My Children Are Bathing Together, Is It OK? - About Islam

Don’t make her feel bad or guilty for being curious, but when she does begin to get curious you may want to ask her if she would like privacy when she baths as she is becoming a “big girl”.   If she doesn’t want separate baths, you can start the separation process anyhow in increments.

I would kindly suggest separating them slowly at first, maybe give your son a bath, then her, then the next day bathe them together and keep switching up until they are bathing separately most of the time.

I suggest this method only because their bathing is a fun time and is innocent to them. Suddenly separating them may cause some confusion and resistance, especially from your daughter as they are used to their fun bath times together.

Additionally, her little brother may also miss their playtime and wonder where his sister is. Therefore by slowing changing from bathing together to bathing separately, you will decrease the feelings of their missing each other by getting them used to bathe alone first without totally taking away their together fun time until they have transitioned separately.

Sister,  I do not feel you have to worry about this right now however when natural curiosity and direct physical play involving private parts occurs (if it does) then it will be time to start separating bath time. For now, enjoy their bath time with them as these are cherishing moments!

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About Aisha Mohammad
Aisha received her PhD in psychology in 2000 and an MS in public health in 2009. Aisha worked as a Counselor/Psychologist for 12 years for Geneva B. Scruggs Community Health Care Center in New York. Aisha specializes in trauma, depression, anxiety, substance abuse, marriage/relationships issues, as well as community-cultural dynamics. She is certified in Restorative Justice/ Healing Circles, Conflict Resolution, Mediation, and is also a certified Life Coach.
Aisha works at a Family Resource Center, and has a part-time practice in which she integrates healing and spirituality using a holistic approach. Aisha plans to open a holistic care counseling center for Muslims and others in the New York area in the future, in sha' Allah. Aisha is also a part of several organizations that advocate for social & food justice. In her spare time she enjoys her family, martial arts classes, Islamic studies as well as working on her book and spoken word projects.