Salam Dear Sister,
Thank you so much for sending your question and for contacting Ask About Islam.
May Allah reward you, purify you and help you tremendously in this world and the next. Your emotions and sincerity have been felt strongly through your words, which is a beautiful and a great sign of your repentance. Alhamdulillah (All praise is to Allah) for facilitating repentance for you.
Remember my sister that Allah Almighty says:
“But indeed, I am the Perpetual Forgiver of whoever repents and believes and does righteousness and then continues in guidance.” (Quran 20: 82)
Allah’s forgiveness is guaranteed when we follow these conditions:
1- We repent sincerely and wholeheartedly
2- We stop the sin and we do not go back to it
3- We regret it and acknowledge how wrong it was
4- We continue to dorighteousdeeds and remain on the path of righteousness
If you do that, then you are indeed a good woman and may Allah grant you and your husband a successful marriage that brings peace to both your hearts and help you serve the Ummah and raise righteous children together.
Our Noble Prophet says:
“Every son of Adam commits sin, and the best of those who commit sin are those who repent.’” [Sunan Ibn Majah]
And Allah Almighty says:
“Indeed, Allah loves those who are constantly repentant and loves those who purify themselves.” (Quran 2: 222)
So, not only will Allah forgive, but He will also love you, as per this beautiful verse of the Quran, if you persist on your repentance.
Now, Islamically, do you have to tell your husband? No, you don’t.
If Allah forgives the past and accepts repentance, then who are we not to forgive!
So long as you are never again in touch with that person from the past, and you never even remotely approach this act again, then you can start over clean and forget the past.
We advise you to
1- Seek knowledge of the deen, which is a means to earn enormous rewards and remain steadfast on the straight path.
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:
“He who follows a path in quest of knowledge, Allah will make the path of Jannah easy to him. The angels lower their wings over the seeker of knowledge, being pleased with what he does. The inhabitants of the heavens and the earth and even the fish in the depth of the oceans seek forgiveness for him.
The superiority of the learned man over the devout worshiper is like that of the full moon to the rest of the stars (i.e., in brightness). The learned are the heirs of the Prophets who bequeath neither dinar nor dirham but only that of knowledge; and he who acquires it, has in fact acquired an abundant portion.”[Abu Dawud and At- Tirmidhi].
2- Make sure to raise your kids upon righteousness and teach them purity and morality now that you truly believe this is the right way.
3- Do not let Shaitan make you fall in despair, lose hope in the mercy of Allah or give up on leading a new pure and clean life. The previous page is over and you have the power and ability to move forward and be better than you ever were.
4- Do not let Shaitan ruin your marriage, especially if you love your husband and his family and the fact that they are good people obedient to Allah Almighty.
Remember that among Shaitan’s biggest goals is to ruin marriages:
Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings upon him) said:
“Iblis places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments (for creating dissension); the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension. One of them comes and says: “I did so and so.” And he says: “You have done nothing.” Then one amongst them comes and says: “I did not spare so and so until I sowed the seed of discord between a husband and a wife.” Then Satan goes near him and says: “You have done well.” He then embraces him.” [Sahih Muslim]
So do not enable Shaitan to do that; fight for your marriage and for being with the good and pure husband and work on being good and pure as well.
5- With regards to meeting Allah on the Day of Judgement, see this beautiful hadith:
“Ibn `Umar said, “I heard the Prophet (peace be upon him) saying, ‘The Believer will be brought near his Lord till his Lord covers him with His screen and makes him confess his sins. (Allah will ask him), ‘Do you know (that you did) ‘such-and-such sin?” He will say twice, ‘Yes, I do.’ Then Allah will say, ‘I concealed it in the world and I forgive it for you today.‘ Then the record of his good deeds will be folded up.” [Sahih Al Bukhari]
This is the Mercy and Forgiveness of Allah. So do not despair.
“Say, “O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.”
And return [in repentance] to your Lord and submit to Him before the punishment comes upon you; then you will not be helped.
And follow the best of what was revealed to you from your Lord before the punishment comes upon you suddenly while you do not perceive,” (Quran 39: 53-55)
To wrap up, here is the message for you, insha’Allah:
- Do not despair. Allah will forgive.
- Repent sincerely and never go back to the sin.
- Follow the best path of righteousness, goodness and purity. Remain steadfast on that path.
May Allah shower you with His Mercy and Forgiveness and may He rectify all your affairs for you and never hold you accountable to that which is in the past, indeed He is The Best of those who forgive!
I hope this helps answer your question.
Salam and please keep in touch.