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Why Can’t I Marry The Hindu Girl of My Dreams?

10 February, 2021
Q I have been patient for a long time in waiting for a Muslim girl to enter my life. It has been over 5 years since I have been praying for a Muslim girl even my parents have been praying for more than 5 years for me. How long would we wait for? Is it possible that maybe Allah has planned for me not to marry someone who is muslim or maybe he has planned for me to be alone my whole life. It definitely feels this way. The hindu girl I was with before was perfect but unfortunately she is not muslim. Why does allah allow us to meet these people if it is forbidden to have marriage? All my friends have found Muslim girls and are having kids now. Why am I being left out? I have so many goals In life but they are all on hold because I need a partner to do them. Especially travel and investments. How long do I keep holding on and waiting ? Would it not make sense to marry the person I get along with the most even though they are not muslim? We are now talking about me being happy in life otherwise I will continue to feel lonely and sad and not want to live in this life any longer.I know you will say allah has a plan for me and to trust in him and he will deliver. This is what everyone says. But why make things so difficult? I always pray to Allah at least give me a sign that you are here with me and things will be ok. Why doesnt he at least give me a sign to hang on to hope? Why does he not answer me when I need him the most in my life?I feel so down and out. My confidence has hit rock bottom and am distraught at the fact I have been brought up in an age where other people's parents are accepting conversion of islam marriages but my parents are against it. I cannot please everyone. Now I am not even pleased with myself..

Answer

Short Answer:

  • Dear brother, I know you have asked various people throughout About Islam about your plight. Please know I have the deepest sympathy for you, I truly do.
  • But no matter who you ask, how you ask it, or what caveats you attach, you will receive the same answer: ultimately, according to common Islamic scholarship, it is impermissible to marry outside of the People of the Book.
  • Insha’Allah there IS a partner out there for you. Take my advice about not putting your life on hold and not holding every woman up in comparison to the Hindu girl you loved. If you do this, insha’Allah you will find it easier to relax and accept what Allah has in store for you.

………….

Salaam alaykum, brother

Thank you for your question. I can sense your pain in your words and can tell that this is something that is troubling your heart deeply. I hope insha’Allah that I am able to help you.

Is it permissible to marry a Hindu girl?

Dear brother, I know you have asked various people throughout About Islam about your plight. Please know I have the deepest sympathy for you, I truly do.

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But no matter who you ask, how you ask it, or what caveats you attach, you will receive the same answer: ultimately, according to common Islamic scholarship, it is impermissible to marry outside of the People of the Book.

You are a human being and you have free will. If you want to marry a Hindu girl then no one can force you apart, but you will not find a reputable source that will tell you it is halal.

Why Can’t I Marry The Hindu Girl of My Dreams?

Doubtlessly you have asked this question before, though it was not really part of your query to me. And I want to be honest with you. I do not want to give you warped reasons and platitudes about raising children, etc.

The fact is, many people marry across faiths and make it work. I am not going to do you the disservice of pretending otherwise. Children are raised in interfaith households and turn out splendidly – not always, of course, but it can happen.

The truth is, I cannot provide you with a solid reason that it is forbidden. In the Quran, in Surah Baqara, Allah said:

“And do not marry polytheist women until they believe …  even though she might please you.”

The verse also mentions:

“Those invite you to the Fire, but Allah invites you to Paradise and to permission, by His Forgiveness.”

One could surmise that due to the gravity of the sin of polytheism, it is best to distance ourselves – above all when we are talking about a lifelong partner.

But when it comes down to it, the truth of the matter is as simple as this: it is forbidden because Allah has forbidden it. It may not be a satisfying answer, but it is the truth of the matter.

Hinduism is a polytheistic religion, so unless the woman converts to a monotheistic faith (Christianity, Judaism, or Islam) it is forbidden for you to marry her.

Why have I not met the right woman?

First of all, brother, I don’t know how old you are or where you are in your life. I can let you know that my husband was 30 when we got married, which is pretty old for his culture.

One of his younger brothers got married before him and another got married just two weeks after we did. In Western culture, it is not unusual at all for people to not get married into their thirties. My own step-mother was almost 50 when she and my dad got married – and it was her first marriage!

I am telling you this because I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with you. It is okay if you have not found your partner yet. I cannot answer for you why you have not found her, but it does not necessarily mean anything bad. It just is not your time yet.

Be Proactive!

Have you been doing anything besides praying about it? Prayer is good, of course, but no matter how much you pray, Allah is not just going to drop a perfect woman into your life. You need to make sure you’re being proactive. Have you reached out to aunties and uncles in your community? They are often good sources and will be on the lookout if they know you are searching.

Also – this is incredibly important – you must stop holding up any potential wife against the Hindu girl you were interested in. That is not fair. I am sure this woman had a lot of wonderful qualities, but you cannot just go around looking for the Muslim version of her.

Each individual person that Allah created is unique. Make a list of qualities you seek in a wife. Then when you are meeting women with an eye to marriage you will know what to look out for.

Your life does NOT need to be on hold!

You mentioned that you “need” a partner to do a lot of things you are waiting for in life – but this is not true! In particular, you mentioned investments and traveling. I am not sure exactly what you meant by investments. But in no way do you need to be married to make financial investments. If you are talking more about buying a house or a car – again, marriage is nice, but not a necessity for these things.

As for traveling – of course, it is natural to dream about traveling with one’s spouse, but you do not need to wait for marriage. Before we were married, my husband traveled to Turkey and Malaysia and Oman. I traveled to Ireland, Canada, France, and Spain.

When we got married, we lived in Oman for a number of years, and we have told each other all our favorite parts of our travels. We have shared pictures and dreamed of going together sometime. Malaysia worked out for the two of us, and he was so excited to take me to all his favorite places.

A new destination we went to together was – Greece – and it was also wonderful to discover it as a couple. But him having been to Malaysia without me (twice!) took nothing away from the experience.

Trust in Allah

I know you are tired of hearing to trust in Allah’s plan, so I won’t tell you that. As I said before, I cannot answer why Allah is testing you in this way. I understand that it is hard, brother. Your test was not one that I, myself, went through.

But I have gone through tests as well. I have even gotten angry with Allah at times, which we are of course not supposed to do. But in the end, I always feel the most calm when I stop trying to pretend I am in control of everything.

Insha’Allah there IS a partner out there for you. Take my advice about not putting your life on hold and not holding every woman up in comparison to the Hindu lady you loved. If you do this, insha’Allah you will find it easier to relax and accept what Allah has in store for you.

And Allah knows best.

I hope this helps.

Salam and please keep in touch.

(From Ask About Islam archives)

Please continue feeding your curiosity, and find more info in the following links:

Halal Ways for Converts to Find a Spouse in the Modern World?

Can A Hindu Convert To Islam?

Daughter Married a Hindu Revert, What to Do?