Asalamu Alaikum Hafiza,
Thank you for trusting About Islam with your problem.
While reading the first few sentences of your message, I started wondering if you suffer from anxiety. So, thank you for including that info, which means you’re aware of the problem and working on addressing it.
I think this is a major factor in your feelings of isolation and inadequacy, please focus on working with a professional therapist. You need to manage your anxiey, as it is preventing you from enjoying the warmth and support that comes from rich social interactions.
Being Muslim is actually part of the solution: If you believe in God, then you already know that it’s He who sends us tests and trials. Consequently, it’s God who has the power to support us and allow us to emerge stronger.
It’s also God who has the compassion to relieve us of the test anytime He see fit for our path in life. So, start establishing an ongoing, open channel of communication with God. If you feel lonely, then reach out to Allah to be your companion and your protector. Talk to Him from your heart, with the strong faith that is so alive when you pray.
It would help you greatly to work with a counselor, someone who would help you get over your inhibitions (or manage them better) and unleash your maximum potential, one small step at a time. If you cannot afford counseling, then at least try watching videos and reading books on self-coaching and start applying the simple techniques.
When you learn how to managae your social anxiety, you will be able to connect with other Muslims who could support you and help you improve as a Muslim. Friendship is an integral part of practicing Islam, as love and support are fuels for the demanding but gratifying journey of self-discovery and sincere worship.
I hope this helps answer your question. Please keep in touch.
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