May I Pray for the Deceased Man I Loved?

17 November, 2016
Q Assalamua'alaikum w.b.t. Recently I lost someone I loved dearly and already plan to get married but unfortunately he's passed away due to illness.Can we meet again in the world after and continue our dream to be husband and wife. Its very hard for me since he is gone and I miss him a lot. Will all my prayer & dua through Allah can reach him (His Soul)? Do I have to mention his name every time or whenever I wish to make dua for him? Please need advice and am totally lost.


Salam Dear Sister,

Thank you for your question and for contacting Ask About Islam.

There are three aspects of your question that need to be addressed:

(i) Whether it is permissible for you to pray for this non-mahrum man, for whom you still have love in your heart, and whom you wanted to marry,

(ii) Is it permissible for you to make dua to Allah, that you and he be married/reunited in Jannah, and

(iii) Should you mention his name whilst making these dua’s?

Addressing the first part of your question, I’d like to say that yes, you can and should make dua for this deceased man, and ask Allah to forgive him and grant him a place in Jannah.

The best gift that a living Muslim can give to a deceased one, is sincere dua’s for forgiveness of sins and admission into Paradise. So go ahead, make lots of dua’s for him. Insha’Allah, Allah will lighten the grief in your heart and grant you relief from sadness at his death.

As for the third part of your question, well no, you do not need to mention his name whilst making dua’s for him. You can simply refer to him.

I’d like to urge you to focus on making mostly dua for forgiveness, for this deceased brother, here is a link to one such authentic dua.

Allah will know who you are referring to, because He knows the intentions of our hearts whenever we pray to Him or call Him.

I am not sure whether you were involved in a romantic relationship (with correspondence, meeting, and talking to each other frankly) with this deceased man or not, because this is not clear from your question.

Perchance you were involved with him, then you should be reminded that such a relationship is forbidden in Islam, and that it is considered a sin, and therefore, you have to repent for being in it with him (i.e. if you were) by resolving not to get into such an involvement with anyone else ever again, and to seek Allah’s forgiveness for it.

However, if you loved this man merely from a distance, with the intention of getting married to him – for his righteousness, character and personality, and if you wanted to marry him only, without doing anything forbidden, such as repeatedly looking/gazing at him, talking to him, corresponding with him online, or meeting him in person, then you do not have to repent for anything.

For a more detailed description of the difference between being “in love”, which is not a sin, and being involved in a forbidden romantic relationship, which is a sin, please click here.

Lastly, yes – a Muslim can ask for any blessing in Jannah, even someone to be their spouse there. However, as your sister, I’d like to remind you that perhaps Allah might give you someone even better as your husband in Jannah, if you are patient with what Allah has decreed for you and taken away from you in this world.

Sometimes, we desperately want something in life, and we assume that once we have it, it will be good for us, and will make us extremely happy and satisfied.

Yet, it is only Allah who has knowledge of the Unseen (ghaib), and it is only He who knows what will be beneficial for both our dunya and our akhirah. So he doesn’t give us what we want. Rather, He decrees for it to be taken away from us, and He gives us what is better. In our limited knowledge and wisdom, we sometimes question His decree, or desire to get the blessing that we wanted for ourselves in this world, to be ours in the Hereafter.

So I’d like to advise you regarding the second part of your question, viz. whether you should pray to be married to this man in Jannah, – by saying that you should ask Allah to grant you the best husband there.

If there is someone who will make you much happier than this man ever could as a husband, then ask Allah to grant you that husband in Jannah – because, remember, Allah prevented this person from becoming your husband in this world, which indicates that he was never meant for you in the first place, right? Is that not true?May I Pray for the Deceased Man I Loved? - About Islam

Nothing could have prevented this man from becoming your husband had Allah decreed it in your fate. Surely, Allah prevented you from marrying Him, because that was better for you. Allah’s decision regarding our provision are always best for us.

In the end, I would like to leave you with these 2 beautiful verses of the Qur’an that might help you:

{No misfortune can happen on earth or in your souls but is recorded in a decree before We bring it into existence. That is truly easy for Allah.

In order that you may not despair over matters that pass you by, nor exult over favors bestowed upon you. For Allah loves not any vainglorious boaster.} [Quran- 57: 22, 23}

May Allah grant you patience with His decree, and compensate you with better in both worlds. May Allah grant you provision that makes you extremely happy and causes you to increase in righteousness, both in this world and the next. Ameen.

I hope this addresses all aspects of your question.

Allah knows best.