Answer
Asalamu Alaikum Dear Sister,
Thank you for contacting About Islam with your very important question.
Please find the second and final part of the answer to your question below. Find the first part at the link here.
In addition to practicing patience and self-restraint, reading and educating yourself as suggested in part one, you can be proactive by Improving Your Worship
Sister, please be steadfast in performing all obligatory acts of worship in Islam, especially the five daily prayers.
Make tremendous dua to Allah to make a way out for you, and to turn the hearts of your mother and especially your stepfather in compassion and mercy towards you.
Focusing on Improving Yourself and Other Family Relationships
When you focus on self-improvement and polishing your own conduct and behavior with your parents and other family members, they will observe the positive change in your demeanor, and inshaAllah, they will become kinder and more benevolent towards you.
However, achieving this change might take a lot of time, maybe years of being patient and steadfast in good conduct, having ihsan towards family members.
Once they observe how nice and kind you are, the other members of your family, such as your younger sisters, will naturally gravitate towards you with love and admiration.
Time is the Best Solution
With the passage of time, change will come, and this I am saying with definite surety.
So, capitalize on your youth, free time, and good health right now to focus on your education and self-improvement in both deen-related and worldly education, so that you can arm yourself with the weapon of knowledge because it is one of the strongest weapons a woman can possess.
Conclusion
You didn’t mention how your relationship with your older brother is. Perhaps you can become closer to him, and ask him to take you out to the park or to the library once in a while, with your parents’ permission.
It would help a lot if you could convey to your parents – repeatedly in a polite tone – that they should stop bringing up the past in their anger, and stop reminding others in the family, especially your siblings, about how you were conceived.
I am sure that every time that rape is mentioned, it hurts your mother as much as, if not more than, it hurts you.
Lastly, that “Islamic” website that you read in which it was stated that illegitimate children go on to do evil things just because they were born through a haram relationship, please discard what it said and expel it from your mind.
Julaybib was a companion of the Prophet (PBUH) who was teased and socially marginalized because of his unknown lineage and because of his physical features. Yet, Allah blessed him with a beautiful wife in this world, who was chosen for him by Allah’s messenger himself, and he was eventually granted the high status of martyrdom.
Lastly, cursing or insulting one’s own child or step-child on the basis of their origins or lineage is a habit that is closer to jahiliyyah than Islam.
Our own Prophet was called names, but he didn’t allow those who called him names to affect or thwart the positive work that he did. Parents have no right to insult a child or call her names, no matter how angry they might be.
May Allah grant you peace, love, and harmony. Ameen.
I hope this helps.
Walaikum Asalam and please keep in touch.
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