How to Convince Parents to Let Me Practice Islam?

19 June, 2016
Q Salam aleikum, I reverted to Islam two years ago and when my parents found out about it, they have not been too happy with me. And one of the major problems I'm still facing with them is that they still refuse to accept my status as a Muslimah. They have refused for me to pray in the house or to do any other acts of worship and this is really affecting me. I've asked for solutions from different people but they all seem to give me conflicting solutions. I know I'm to respect my parents no matter if they are Muslims or not, but how do I get them to let me practice my religion especially since I'm still under their guidance and support? Thank you.

Answer

Salam Dear Khadeejah,

Thank you for your question and for contacting Ask About Islam.

The best advice I can offer you is to regain the trust your parents had for you before you embraced Islam and then bring it to an even higher level, by Allah’s Grace and Mercy, by proving through your treatment of them that you are more honest, forgiving, kindhearted, generous, and patient than you were before:

{Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your lifetime, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor.} (Quran 17:23)

Do not spend a lot of time quoting Quran and Hadith to them in an attempt to justify your beliefs and practices. If they thought these sources of guidance were worth anything, they wouldn’t have been so upset in the first place that you became a Muslim.

You need to show them by your actions and behaviors that you have not gone crazy, that you are the same person they knew before, only now more dedicated to being a sincere, caring human being. Do not blame them for having doubts about your faith as a Muslim.

If they are like other non-Muslims in today’s world, they are no doubt inundated with negative images and stories in the media every day. You must be a model daughter to your parents, a model neighbor, and model citizen in your community to prove to your parents, and anyone else who may doubt your sanity, that you are a better person now than you were before reverting to Islam.

Avoid association with any Muslims who choose hardheartedness toward non-Muslims and embrace Muslims and non-Muslims alike in cooperation and striving toward what is good and beneficial to all human beings, Muslim or not.

{Allah forbids you not, with regard to those who fight you not for (your) Faith nor drive you out of your homes, from dealing kindly and justly with them: for Allah loves those who are just.} (Quran 60:8)

Only Allah can change the hearts of individual people. He is the One who changed yours, so be patient and continue to pray in secret that Allah opens the hearts of your parents and brings them to Islam through your example. If you are blessed enough for that to happen, then you will have done the ultimate kindness to your parents that anyone can do, helping to save them from the Hellfire. If at any point they attempt to force you to act against what you know to be good conduct, you must remember that you are responsible to Allah first and foremost:How to Convince Parents to Let Me Practice Islam

{But if they strive to make you join in worship with Me things of which you have no knowledge, obey them not; yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to me (in love): in the end the return of you all is to Me, and I will tell you the truth (and meaning) of all that you did.} (Quran 31:15)

If they attempt to harm you physically, you must do your best to protect yourself. If conditions at home become intolerable or dangerous to your well-being, you should find another place to live, ideally with more understanding family members or relatives:

{…And for those who fear Allah, He (ever) prepares a way out.} (Quran 65:2)

I hope this has been beneficial to you. I ask all of our readers to pray for you and to ask Allah to grant your parents greater understanding of Islam, and that He make you an inspiration for them to return to Allah as well.

Salam and please keep in touch.

About Waleed Najmeddine
Waleed Ahmed Najmeddine is a Canadian born Muslim and public school administrator. He is an active member of the Muslim community and enjoys educating Muslims and non-Muslims about Islam. He currently holds a Master of Education degree in leadership and school improvement.