Answer
Short Answer:
- In most professional environments, both men and women have to control their facial expressions and tone of voice. You can train yourself in how to interact with boys. They should get a clear message: not to become frank or friendly with you.
- I advise you to seek only the help of females for your studies. Such as senior female students, or female teachers/tutors. Avoid talking to boys altogether.
- Consider hiring a private female home tutor. Or hold group study sessions at your home, inviting female colleagues over.
………….
Asalaamu alaykum, and thank you for sending in your question to our website.
Being ‘friends’ with boys
In your question, you mentioned, ‘As a student, I have to talk with male friends for study help“. Is it really true that you have to talk to male “friends” in order to get help with studies?
Can you not get the same help from other female students only?
According to the social limits set by Islam, you should not be having any male “friends”, and vice versa. Boys and girls who have passed puberty should not socially mix with each other. They should maintain a distance, and not become so close, that they refer to each other as “friends”.
Studying together is, therefore, not allowed. That was the first mistake you made viz. taking unnecessary study help from male peers. Moreover, If you sat with them alone i.e. without others present, to study, that was also wrong.
Facial expression, tone of voice and body language
Sister, you should alter your body language so that it deters advances from boys. In most professional environments, both men and women have to control their facial expressions and tone of voice.
They do so because it is the standard office ‘decorum’. For example, in retail, sales staff are meticulously trained on how to interact with customers, and how not to. There are many do’s and don’ts.
So, too, can you train yourself in how to interact with boys. They should get a clear message: not to become frank or friendly with you. And to keep your mutual communication restricted just to studies.
Try not to smile broadly, laugh, or joke during such communication. Avoid direct eye contact as much as possible. And do not let your voice become soft (since your voice is naturally attractive).
Allah says in the Qur’an, addressing the wives of Prophet Muhammad ﷺ:
“Hence, do not be soft in speech [to men], lest he in whose heart is a disease should covet, but speak with appropriate speech.” [Quran 33:32]
This confirms that even soft female speech can entice desire in a man whose heart is diseased. It would, therefore, be prudent for you to avoid one-on-one phone conversations with boys as well.
Finally, make sure your body language indicates reserve, whenever you talk to boys. Never be alone or in a private setting with them. Stand or sit at a distance, preferably not face-to-face, and avoid eye contact. It goes without saying that any kind of touching, such as handshakes, is absolutely forbidden (haram).
Defining the limits of “necessity” of talking to non-mahrams
Sister, in the end, I would like to remind you to remember one thing. Shaitan makes us slip towards sin little by little, not at once. Letting down one’s guard can take just one second, but lead to serious consequences. One exchanged glance, or a misunderstood smile can lead to continuous insinuations in the mind of a guy. Such as:
“Maybe she likes me. Why else would she try to talk to me, again and again? Studies are just her excuse.”
That is why I again advise you to seek only the help of females for your studies. Such as senior female students, or female teachers/tutors. Avoid talking to boys altogether.
Consider hiring a private female home tutor. Or hold group study sessions at your home, inviting female colleagues over.
And Allah knows best.
I hope this helps.
Salam and please keep in touch.
Please continue feeding your curiosity, and find more info in the following links:
