Answer
Short Answer:
- Wishing well for those who wronged you doesnโt mean that you pretend that they did no wrong. I meanโฆ itโs your right to prevent yourself from being harmed, so part of preventing yourself from being harmed is to create a sufficient distance between you and the source of the harm, so that you are not harmed. And sometimes that can be difficult to figure outโฆ Donโt try to do it yourself. Consult those learned, consult those experienced, consult friends.
โฆโฆโฆโฆ.
Asalamu Alaikum,
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Shaykh Faraz Rabbani from SeekersHub addresses this question in the video below:
Transcript:
Sh. Faraz Rabbani:
โHow do you wish well for those who wronged you? Wishing well for those who wronged you doesnโt mean that you pretend that they did no wrong.
It doesnโt mean that you behave as if nothing happened.
I meanโฆ itโs your right to prevent yourself from being harmed, so part of preventing yourself from being harmed is to create a sufficient distance between you and the source of the harm, so that you are not harmed.
And sometimes that can be difficult to figure outโฆ Donโt try to do it yourself. Consult. [โฆ]
Donโt try to be resilientโฆ Embrace consulting. Consult those learned, consult those experienced, consult friends. Donโt try to figure it out yourself.
Part of it is to see that itโs all from Allahโฆ and these are all Allahโs creating, and itโs all a test.
And in many waysโฆ the test is not only in the things that you donโt like. The test in the things that you do like is greater.
[โฆ] Your wealth and your childrenโฆ your family, theyโre tests. And youโre more likely to fail in the test of the good then you are in the test of the bad.
In the bad, you turn to Allah. What else is there to do? But the tests of the good thingsโฆ itโs rare that in the good things people will turn to Allah through them.
Ibn al-Arabi, his wife was a righteous woman, and he said that one day she remarkedโฆ that most human beings refuse to turn to God except in distress.
Distress really is a blessing! What else is there to do?! When things are good, most people run away from Godโฆ
So, in those difficult situations, the thing is, the adab [manners] with testing situations is to see it from Allah, and then see what response will be pleasing to Allah, and pursue it.
Itโs nothing personal; youโre a servant of Allah.
What do you have to do in the good? Serve Allah. How? By gratitude.
In the bad, how do you serve Allah? By not responding to the bad with bad, but respond to the bad with goodโthat which is just, and, if you can, that which is virtuous.
So, itโs nothing personalโฆ and see the opportunity in that.
When someone is being bad to you, this is an opportunity. Itโs an opportunity. Why โฆ an opportunity? Not in that relationship, because you have a higher concern, which is to seek the pleasure of Allah.
So if you see the opportunity in that testโฆ then that test is not a difficulty, itโs an opportunity.
[A well-known Muslim scholar] saysโฆ โIf you see Allahโs giving in the things that he withholds from you, then his withholding becomes from giving itself.โ
So, see it as being from Allah, and it puts things in perspective. [โฆ]
This is a spiritual positive thinking. Thereโs delusionary positive thinking, where everything will be fine as long as you think itโll be fine.
No, our positive thing is with Allah, subhannahu wa taโalaโฆโ
Watch the video to learn more.
I hope this helps answer your question. You can also check out more from SeekersHub at the link here.
Walaikum Asalam. Please keep in touch.
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