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Avoiding Suspicion After Previous Betrayal

28 July, 2017
Q Please advise on how to avoid suspicion especially after you have been betrayed before and want to avoid any conflicts.


Salam alaykum Dear Reader,

Thank you so much for this question and for bringing up a discussion that shall serve as an important reminder for all of us, insha’Allah.

In regards to how to avoid suspicion, here are some tips:

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Have full Tawakkul

Trust fully in Allah, subhanahu wa ta’ala, knowing that nothing shall befall you except what He has decreed for you. Remember this powerful hadith:

On the authority of Abu Abbas Abdullah bin Abbas (may Allah be pleased with him) who said:

One day, I was behind the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) [riding on the same mount] and he said, “O young man, I shall teach you some words [of advice]: Be mindful of Allah and Allah will protect you. Be mindful of Allah and you will find Him in front of you. If you ask, then ask Allah [alone]; and if you seek help, then seek help from Allah [alone]. And know that if the nation were to gather together to benefit you with anything, they would not benefit you except with what Allah had already prescribed for you. And if they were to gather together to harm you with anything, they would not harm you except with what Allah had already prescribed against you. The pens have been lifted and the pages have dried.” [Tirmidhi]

So, do not fear/suspect a creation and forget his/her Creator; don’t forget that all your affairs are in the Hands of Allah and He alone can protect you.

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If He allows something to befall you, it is to teach you a lesson or bring you closer to Him, for the matters of the believer are all good for him/her. Just like the Prophet (peace and blessings upon him) said:

How wonderful is the case of a believer! There is good for him in everything and this applies only to a believer. If prosperity attends him, he expresses gratitude to Allah and that is good for him; and if adversity befalls him, he endures it patiently and that is better for him. [Muslim]

Find reassurance, peace and serenity in the remembrance of Allah

…unquestionably, by the remembrance of Allah hearts are assured (Qur’an 13: 28)

So, make sure to recite the morning and evening adhkar religiously to protect yourself from any waswasa (evil whispers), sadness, or worry.

The adhkar are indeed very powerful in putting the heart and mind at ease and strengthening one’s relationship with Allah.

Always seek Allah to protect you and guide you and show you the true nature of people/events so you can make better choices. Make dua and pray istikhara regularly.

This will be very powerful in making you feel strongly connected with The Most Knowing and being more at peace with whatever happens.

Remember the True Enemy: Shaitan

Remember that much of the bad assumptions or suspicion we feel is from Shaitan.

[…] Indeed, Satan induces [dissension] among them. Indeed Satan is ever, to mankind, a clear enemy. (Qur’an 17:53)

Jabir reported that Allah’s Messenger said:

Iblis places his throne upon water; he then sends detachments (for creating dissension); the nearer to him in rank are those who are most notorious in creating dissension… [Sahih Muslim]

So, Allah Almighty says:

O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin… (Qur’an 49:12)

Be Just

Remember that if you unfairly suspect something/someone and it turned out to be not true, then you’ve committed injustice and Allah does not like injustice.

If you notice clear evidence for something to suspect, communicate that with the respective person. Clear communication is always the best and most straightforward way.

Do not spy on people or track people’s faults so as not to increase in suspicion. Follow the steps above, and put your mind and heart to rest.

Do not make generalizations. Being betrayed once does not mean that all people will betray you. Put your trust in Allah, take the means to be with trustworthy people and then leave the rest upon Allah.

Hope this helps. Please provide us with more/clearer information if you need further help.

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