Short Answer: I tell you with utmost confidence to go ahead and accept Islam and liberate yourself from doubt and uncertainty. This will be the best decision you make in your life. And the two of us will stand together on Judgment Day before The King, and we will remember this moment, and you will be relieved that you didn’t submit to doubt and that you did the right thing and took the most important decision in your existence: submitting to The One who gave you existence.
Good morning Kasia,
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, and for sending your great questions. We’re more than happy to help and answer your questions.
Let’s calmly and reasonably think about everything you asked about together.
Think of His vast Mercy
The opportunities for forgiveness and mercy and rewards by Allah are unmatched and outstandingly generous.
Do you know that Allah Glorified and Exalted has 100 portions of mercy because, of just one, there is/has been mercy on earth from the beginning of time until the end of time? Imagine all the mercy that the earth has ever witnessed from the beginning of time and until the end of time is just one portion of the mercy of Allah, and 99 double that amount is still reserved with Him for the Day of Judgment. [Related by Muslim]
Can you imagine how much mercy that is!
Think of His vast Generosity
And look at this hadith (saying of the Prophet): Allah’s Messenger said, “Allah says,
‘If My slave intends to do a bad deed then (O Angels) do not write it unless he does it; if he does it, then write it as it is, but if he refrains from doing it for My Sake, then write it as a good deed (in his account). (On the other hand) if he intends to do a good deed but does not do it, then write a good deed (in his account), and if he does it, then write it for him (in his account) as ten good deeds up to seven-hundred times.’ ” [Sahih Al Bukhari]
So One good deed= 10 to 700 times the reward.
Also, Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings upon him) said:
“The five daily prayers, and from one Jumu’ah (Friday) prayer to the next Jumu’ah prayer, and from Ramadan to Ramadan are expiations for the sins committed between (their intervals); provided the major sins are not committed.” [Related by Muslim]
Beautiful Sacred Hadith
This generosity could also be beautifully observed in this Hadith Qudsi (Sacred Hadith) where Allah Almighty says:
“O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it. [At Tirmidh]
This is Allah and this is Islam; it is a way of life where Allah calls us to action to benefit us, purify us and reward us far greater than we deserve.
The point is to sincerely know, worship and commit to Him, not to live a life devoid of Him/in negligence of Him.
Is this too much to ask for?
An Invitation to Accept Islam and Gain Peace
I tell you with utmost confidence to go ahead and accept Islam and liberate yourself from doubt and uncertainty. This will be the best decision you make in your life. And the two of us will stand together on Judgment Day before The King, and we will remember this moment, and you will be relieved that you didn’t submit to doubt and that you did the right thing and took the most important decision in your existence: submitting to The One who gave you existence.
You always have a free opportunity to talk to Allah whenever and wherever you are. He sees you right now as you read these words and hears the thoughts in your mind and heart. Talk to Him. You have nothing to lose. This is a source of peace and mercy. It’s not there to burden you; it’s there to relieve you.
It’s always best to talk to The Source, instead of remaining in doubt. So, talk to Him, and He will guide you.
Islam is essentially very easy and beautiful
There are 5 pillars in Islam. If you want to be a Muslim, you simply say the testimony of faith (Shahada) with your tongue. You say:
“Ash‐hadu anlaa ilaaha illa‐Allah, wa ash‐hadu anna Muhammadan rasulul Allah“
“I bear witness that there is no deity worthy of worship except the One & Only deity Allah. And I bear witness that Muhammad is His last and final messenger.”
When you do, all your past sins will be forgiven as the Prophet taught us that Islam wipes out all previous misdeeds. [Sahih Muslim]
Then you learn and grow bit by bit.
May Allah open your heart and guide you to the best option that fills your heart with peace and satisfaction. Ameen.
And Allah knows best.
I hope this helps.
Salam and please keep in touch.
Please continue feeding your curiosity, and find more info in the following links: