Answer
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
In this fatwa:
When a Muslim makes a supplication (duaa) that Allah ends the marital life and he, by saying so, intends death for any of them, this is not considered divorce. Yet, it is to be avoided since it hurts the feelings of the wife and leaves a bad impression on her regarding the husband.
In his fatwa the prominent Muslim scholar Sheikh `Abdul-Bari Az-Zamzami, member of the Moroccan Scholars’ Association, answers:
A Muslim should always take care of his words and watch his tongue. In dealing with his wife, he should use the finest words and the kindest expressions and never hurt her feelings.
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) used to instruct Muslims: “The best of you is the best to his family and I am the best of you to my family.” (Ibn Majah)
This questioner asked Almighty Allah to end his life and thus let him be separated from his wife. This is not considered divorce, as it is just a supplication. The man may die and the woman may die, and this is merely a supplication but not divorce.
Even if the wife dies, it is not the choice of the husband or his action because death is in the hands of Allah.
If you want to make a supplication like this at any other time, try to be selective with your words and be nice in your supplication. You may say something like: “May Allah grant you Paradise soon!” This will make the wife feel that her husband is nice to her and that he loves her dearly. By asking Allah to grant her Paradise, the husband is wishing eternal happiness for her and prays for her to receive blessings in this life and the next.
Almighty Allah knows best.
Editor’s note: This fatwa is from Ask the Scholar’s archive and was originally published at an earlier date.