Q Assalamualaikum. I’m struggling in my heart.

I am a revert to Islam and my mother is absolutely against Islam. It’s something we don’t really talk about because it causes tension between us.

It’s the reason I have not had the courage to start wearing hijab though I want to. I am married now for a year and recently had a baby.

My mother wanted us to buy a house with her to ease her loneliness, which I declined because I can’t see us living in a peaceful environment together.

I want to raise my children as good Muslims and I would be terrified if she would talk negatively to my children day in and day out about Islam while promoting her beliefs in Christianity.

We have had a difficult relationship. My husband is the only one who works so I can stay at home with our baby. She suggested that she moves in and babysit and I go to work.

I am uncomfortable with that for the above reason. Theoretically, it would be a great way to draw her to Islam but I don’t think that’s how it would go.

She has fallen on hard times now; she has lost her job, needs to get surgery and is separated from her husband. I feel consumed with guilt because I know if a person really wants to they can rearrange their whole life to help someone.

So, what’s my excuse? We are supposed to be kind and dutiful to our parents. She is moving to another state to get help filing for disability for income, so I no longer need to fill that role, but I guess I feel guilty for refusing her offer.

I do plan to care for her when she becomes old. My question is, do I have the right to protect my peace and children in this way? Am I automatically obligated to fulfill all of my mother’s desires? A lot of this would fall on my husband too. What should one do?